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Originally posted by Fad
I've read that as you wishing to lure me into your barn so you can spunk on me

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I shall unveil a truth onto all men out there with small dicks, I have discovered the female equivalent, the shallow vagina!!!

Ok, so that's completely riddicullus and really only makes for a good inside joke between my friends but here's a fully awful one night stand I had.

I was at a friend of a friend's place, she was alright, red head, tall, thin, freckles and we were drinking the nastiest cheapest shit you could get in a 40 oz bottle that late at night but it was getting the job done and here's how it basically went down, two girls, three guys, one of which was an older dude that lived next door that was pretty cool and decided to drink with us.

We we're all pretty drunk and doing stupid shit, the girl I ended up with could put her ankles behind her head and proceeded to smack her own ass, I'm sorry but that's talent and I don't care what she looked like, that requires investigation, so anyway, back to the story. Things continue to happen like both girls showin their tits and the other girl that was with us, dark hair, tanned skin, little chub but by no means fat, and that is just my memory of her and this was a LONG time ago, was not to be out-done so she decided to show off her cooch. That gave Cuntsniff just enough incentive that he wanted to investigate as well so he took off with her in his car and me, Red and the old dude are chilling and drinking, I'm sitting on the top stair of her porch while she is on a stop lower and clinging to my arm, it was alright and everything, I checked to see if all was green so I leaned down for a kiss and sure enough, I got it.

Sweet shit, we're ready for take off, the only real hitch before anything happened was she went around the corner of the apartments and threw up, I was trashed, I didn't care, eventually old dude went inside, Cuntsniff still wasn't back with coochie boo yet so she went to go upstairs, now her child was sleeping in the living room during this and his crib was by her mattress on the floor of her room so she asked me to carry him up since she was tired, I figured I'd do the gentlemanly thing, take him up and wait for ol Diffalotapus, she had other plans, she asked for a hug.

This was the start of something awesome and something awful all at the same time, we start making out, groping, getting nice and ready and for a bit of backstory, there's no secret about my manhood, my friends brag about it more than I do that I'm not a small man, when I'm drunk, my ego gets worse hence why I avoid alcohol anymore. I ask her if she wants to see it being this is my challenge cause cynicism is rampant and I love to make believers, she says yes and boom, that look of horror as she wraps her hands around it, nothing in the world makes you feel cooler than that fucking look of horror but normally it's not genuine, I think it might have been this time.

she puts it in her mouth and gives it maybe one suck then she decides she just has to have it in her so clothes start coming off and I'm on top of her doing my thing, then positions change and she's on top, she says "don't cum yet" which I don't but I'm close then it happens, she makes her noises, I blow, I'm pretty sure that meant same time eruption but I'm still hard so we keep going then with every few thrusts I hear her say ow so I'm kinda getting confused, it was fine a minute ago. Then after about halfway through our second round we here Cuntsniff and How's my Lips come through the door, not thinking I quickly jump up, with my pants, run over to the bathroom and on my way flick on the light switch in her room as I clean up and re-cloth myself in her bathroom, do not even ask me why that was my first reaction.

I forgot to mention that she told me she didn't want Diffinthebox to find out about this so as he comes back with Gina-I-See and my drunken reaction reflex went apeshit, there was no question as to what had happened but it was cool, I got laid, my good buddy got laid and it's an event we like to laugh about as we bitch about our wives (my soon to be ex) and our kids.

My reaction may have fucked up a steady pussy flow but I come to find out her soreness was attributed to the fact that she wasn't used to penises bigger than 5 or 6 inches which is where we coined "Shallow vagina". I mean granted she probably could have gotten used to it but that didn't happen. Oh well, I saw her a few times since and we were still cool.

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Originally posted by fro-dizzle
His diary.

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Originally posted by Corsa_Scotty

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Originally posted by fro-dizzle
His diary.

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Yeah never thought of that fro

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