CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
Thong
At least with boxers you can clean up and yop them in the bin 
Wear thongs and slice your logs in half... Lengthways 
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R Lee
Member
Registered: 15th Aug 03
User status: Offline
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PMSL
double the fun
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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is it a Bounty bar? No! it's a thong chopped log!
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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"Trouble flushing your oversize turds?
Well not any more! Try our thong style Pooslicer3000, for easier poo management...
Or Alternatively, make chips of your choccy logs with our String Vest Crap Chipper 440A"
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Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
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When i was at lower school, me and my best mate was playing in my garden and we decided to play a game where we both stood at one end of the garden and tried to throw darts at each other (real darts).
Anyway we was having fun, diving out of the way from the darts when my mate threw one and i couldn't see it coming because the sun was in my eyes. Next thing i know ive got a dart stuck in my shin. He craps himself, runs in the house and gets my mum. My leg was numb and i couldnt move it at all. She comes running out, sees the dart hanging out of my shin, craps herself and runs inside to get my dad. He comes out, and pulls the dart out of my shin.
I had to goto hospital and the nurse, for some reason, put a long pin in the hole and started wiggling it around?!
Didn't play that game again.
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Craig W
When i was at lower school, me and my best mate was playing in my garden and we decided to play a game where we both stood at one end of the garden and tried to throw darts at each other (real darts).
Anyway we was having fun, diving out of the way from the darts when my mate threw one and i couldn't see it coming because the sun was in my eyes. Next thing i know ive got a dart stuck in my shin. He craps himself, runs in the house and gets my mum. My leg was numb and i couldnt move it at all. She comes running out, sees the dart hanging out of my shin, craps herself and runs inside to get my dad. He comes out, and pulls the dart out of my shin.
I had to goto hospital and the nurse, for some reason, put a long pin in the hole and started wiggling it around?!
Didn't play that game again.
Should make it an olympic sport
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dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Craig W
When i was at lower school, me and my best mate was playing in my garden and we decided to play a game where we both stood at one end of the garden and tried to throw darts at each other (real darts).
Anyway we was having fun, diving out of the way from the darts when my mate threw one and i couldn't see it coming because the sun was in my eyes. Next thing i know ive got a dart stuck in my shin. He craps himself, runs in the house and gets my mum. My leg was numb and i couldnt move it at all. She comes running out, sees the dart hanging out of my shin, craps herself and runs inside to get my dad. He comes out, and pulls the dart out of my shin.
I had to goto hospital and the nurse, for some reason, put a long pin in the hole and started wiggling it around?!
Didn't play that game again.
was expecting ur dad to run nextdoor and get ur neighbour next
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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Dave17, I shoot myself as well whilst at school so I suggest you add me to your sig before i call the cops
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by h18_oab
best embarrassing memory for me was probably beign held at gun point in singapore i had been digging in the garden in Australia and found a keyring lighter shaped as a gun i was about 8 at the time and thought nothing of it.. cleaned it up and kept it... went through customs in Singapore and as i walked through the metal detector the keyring set off the alarm, my mum and dad were in hysterics cos i was taken to a room full off police and shit i was bricking it
on a different note when i was about 10-11 my mate got grounded so to defy his dad he jumped out his bedroom window (which was upstairs) and landed right on top of his mountain bike (balls crunched on the saddle) he was in hospital for 5 weeks 
fcuking hell! what happened to his balls, did he loose them?
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Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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spotted my mates mum getting pork sausaged , ever since seeing that i want to nail her.
also i remember at school there were the year geek walking towards me and my mate , my mate kicked the swinging door and it smashed the geek in the face knocking him to the floor , he started screaming at about 100000db
funniest thing i ever saw at school
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
quote:
Originally posted by h18_oab
best embarrassing memory for me was probably beign held at gun point in singapore i had been digging in the garden in Australia and found a keyring lighter shaped as a gun i was about 8 at the time and thought nothing of it.. cleaned it up and kept it... went through customs in Singapore and as i walked through the metal detector the keyring set off the alarm, my mum and dad were in hysterics cos i was taken to a room full off police and shit i was bricking it
on a different note when i was about 10-11 my mate got grounded so to defy his dad he jumped out his bedroom window (which was upstairs) and landed right on top of his mountain bike (balls crunched on the saddle) he was in hospital for 5 weeks
fcuking hell! what happened to his balls, did he loose them?
aint got a clue never asked lol but we gave him a shitload of stick for it when he eventually returned to school
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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It's hard to remember 'every' single one but I do remember chopping the class twat's finger off by sticking his finger under corridor swinging doors, booting him to death and then he ragged his hand from under the door and his finger come off!
(Wickersley comp E-block doors near the fire exit for anyone who went there)
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
with each one of your stories i am remembering things.
think i was about 9/10 and walking home from work i couldnt hold my dump in any longer and i shat my pants. i got home and stuffed the shitty pants in behind the bog, my mum found them a few months later
I think ive just pissed my self laughing at that!
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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can remember standing in line to get a drink at the water fountain at primary school in Australia when a kid i didnt like cut infront of me and was taking forever i told him to hurry up and he glared at me so i bounced his head off the rubber bit at the fountain and smashed his too front teeth he ran off greetin to the teacher and i never got my drink till i got told i was excluded for a week for seriously assualting another pupil
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Easty_T
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Brighouse, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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me and my mates were fighting at school on this steep grass hil and me and this guy where fighting i ended up slipping down the hill and getting totally covered in dog shit had to walk back through the playground thing past everyone to ereception to BUY some new pants which were beyond fecking half mast ....
worst thing was it was secondary school an i was 16 
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StuartVRS
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 03
Location: Bromley Common, Greater London
User status: Offline
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hmmm worst one.....
Primary school, playing kiss chase with the girls, i followed one girl called Kay into the girls toilets where she grabbed my cock I was so shocked i punched her in the stomach, but that wasnt the worst part. She had only just come back after recently having had her appendix out. I thought i was gay for ages after that
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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ROFL @ stuart
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Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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I have a few some are kind of sick
1. On a lads holiday in greece, you could not toliet paper down the toliets and had to put them in a bin, now my mates where in the room to the right of us, and two other mates 2 rooms across. Now i had been drinking non stop for 5 days and needed the mother of all shits.
So i think i am not shitting in my room, semi hammered i climb on the balcony and jump into my mates room but i go to the room on the left, door was slighty a jar as it was in a massive heat wave at the time and air con was a fiver a day, well i go into the toliet and do a massive shit wipe my ass and put it in the toliet.
As i just finish the door opens and two lass's walk in. In my horror i just run out and into the pool area.
For the next 6 days of the holiday, my mates become mates with these lass and i get the piss taken out of me and called the phathom shitter.
Cost me loads of dirnks as well to say sorry, could have pulled one as well, bar the fact she said i thought you where fit until i smelt what comes out of your ass.
2. Playing tennis at school and a lad went to do a difficult shot and had to jump to get the ball. Yet caught his nutsack on the little metal bits that you tie the net to complete ripped it, blood everywhere and as he was wearing tennis whites it was nasty the pe teacher was sick.
3. Same lad was having a 'backie' on my mates motorbike slipped off and still held on for a couple of seconds and ripped his nut sack again. walking into the near by doctors covered in blood and the doctor got the repectionist to hold his balls in place until the ablunacne arrived.
[Edited on 18-03-2005 by Jodi_the_g]
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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LMFAO jodi, thats a fcuking quality story abelit and well bad embarassing one
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Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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think in hindsight i would have been better shitting myself
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Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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Or the best one was in france was around 16 at the time, and went on holiday with my mates and there parents.
I pull this lass and go behind the games hall, have a couple of fingers up her nad my cock hanging out of my trousers her having a tug.
My mates mum comes up and says jodi (standing two foot away) do you want to invite you lady friend out for dinner tonight as andy (my mate) is bringing his.
Wghile she says this i zip up my trouser sharpish and so does the lass, she then finishs it with "I take that as a yes just wash your hands as we are thinking of going to a bbq."
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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I remember lying on this wall which was about 4ft high, and when i opened my eyes I was in a bush with blood all over my head.
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Jodi_the_g
Or the best one was in france was around 16 at the time, and went on holiday with my mates and there parents.
I pull this lass and go behind the games hall, have a couple of fingers up her nad my cock hanging out of my trousers her having a tug.
My mates mum comes up and says jodi (standing two foot away) do you want to invite you lady friend out for dinner tonight as andy (my mate) is bringing his.
Wghile she says this i zip up my trouser sharpish and so does the lass, she then finishs it with "I take that as a yes just wash your hands as we are thinking of going to a bbq."
rOFLMFAO!
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Greg W
Member
Registered: 6th Oct 04
Location: Wigan, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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^^^ 'Kin cryin laughin at that one!
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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pmsl
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