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Author When u take a crap at work.....
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
wot if u really are bout 2 shit urself tho? its a dirty toilet, or ur boxers? make a decision
3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Smiffie
quote:
Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
i try to cough and stamp my feet, or whistle


i do this


i don't really, i lied
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:14   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i dont place toilet tissue down is this why my willy is sore when I pee?
ScottyBrum
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Registered: 12th Jan 04
Location: Birmingham
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dave17
wot if u really are bout 2 shit urself tho? its a dirty toilet, or ur boxers? make a decision


If this is the case i still make sure i get my sequence completed before taking a forrest gump, i have this strange ability to hold on forever & a day without it slipping out into the outside world by accident
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
but wot if u had had a REALLY bad curry, and had been waiting ALL the way to work, u run upstairs with it leaking out, u burst theu the door, u dont have time to put paper down, if u do it in ur boxers itl run all ove ur trousers an ur leg n ul stink of shit al day, wot do u do then?
ScottyBrum
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Registered: 12th Jan 04
Location: Birmingham
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
If this was the case i would use the squat and hover method and hope i get it all in the toilet, this prevents u from touching the toilet seat and works your thigh muscles out at the same time
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
but this is a squrty shit, and u run the risk of it spraying down ur leg
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i think if you were in the condition described by Dave17 above ^^^, you'd be lucky to even make it to the toilet.
ScottyBrum
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 04
Location: Birmingham
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
i think if you were in the condition described by Dave17 above ^^^, you'd be lucky to even make it to the toilet.


Well said
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
PMSL lets jus say u do make it to the toilet
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
well i dont line the toilet anyway so i'd just sit down and let loose.

My penis sometimes touches the seat though, this sickens me a bit
ScottyBrum
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 04
Location: Birmingham
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i would hover with a 1cm gap between my pert cheeks and the toilet seat thus giving minimal space for error and escapage of runny-poo
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
well i dont line the toilet anyway so i'd just sit down and let loose.

My penis sometimes touches the seat though, this sickens me a bit


i get this, sometimes, after sex, it touches the pan, makes me shiver
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
sorry dude.
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 15:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
wil u rub my back?
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 16:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
there there David, would you like me to run a bath for you?
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 16:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
yes please, maybe a foot massage to ease my trauma?
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 16:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
like this?



or this?
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 16:14   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
ohhhhh the 2nd 1 sends shivers up my spine, but of a nice shiver, makes my hair stand up
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 16:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


my work here is done
Jamescorsa97
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Registered: 19th Aug 04
Location: Middlesbrough Drives: Cliosport 182
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3rd Dec 04 at 20:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
T here is this guy at my work, hes a playwriter and he whistles so much one day i was going to the loo....and i'm sure it was him as hes the only guy who could of been whislting away whilst taking a dump. Well he was whislting a tune and just as he was about to take a dump he whisltes like the noise of a incoming bomb WhOOOOOOOooooooooooooo, then lets rip big time. Everyone in the toilets burst out laughing. He came out rather red faced.
Demo
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Registered: 27th Sep 01
Location: south wales Drives: astra sri ecoflex
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3rd Dec 04 at 20:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
FPMSL
purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 22:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Not read the whole thread, but my office is next door to the gents, and i can hear the splash as it hits the water Im looking for a new job
mike_1.2LS96
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Registered: 23rd Oct 03
Location: Darlington | Mazda 323 1.8 Exec
User status: Offline
3rd Dec 04 at 23:14   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i use the ladies
Andrew
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Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
4th Dec 04 at 08:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
PMSL @ this

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