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Author Websites that make you laugh
K2 GTi
Member

Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I pierced my penis a total of 15 times. I cannot ejaculate anymore.
And many girlfriends have broken up with me for it.

So i've gone out of my way telling girls how bad they are at sex.

getting blow jobs for hours on end, until the cheeks are blue.

I love their misery.


--Dave--
Banned

Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

PMSL
K2 GTi
Member

Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

wtf




I have a poop fetish.....I know it sounds gross, but i love to look at my poop when i am done. I almost anylize it. But to me that isnt weird, I only find it weird that i actually enjoy to look at other people or random dumbs when i happen to be lucky enough to find them. I know its wrong that i like these random poops left behind in toilets, but i cant help but keep staring at them. I one time asked my girlfriend to leave her poop behind and not flush, but she said no and found it to be disgusting. I feel so alone with this problem. My problem has gotten so bad that i am even contemplating begining to get "aquainted" with different textures of poop. I dont know what to do, I want to see a doctor, but i am to scared. I even contimplate taking my own life, but i cant becasue i think it is to silly to kill myself over poop.
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

what the fuck.......!!

666435086 when i was eleven i crossdressed for halloween and, while my mother was at the party store, i masturbated in the car under my dress while people stepped into and out of the cars parked next to mine
SXi_Tim
Member

Registered: 11th Mar 03
Location: South Yorkshire Drives: RS3, LET B
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A friend of mine called me and said he felt suicidal. I really dont give a shit.

Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

i once screwed a girl with a sandwich bag on my dick. i didnt want to get her pregnant or catch a disease.. i didnt have a condom on me. i was 13
K2 GTi
Member

Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Hello, I am living on an farm in germany and last year i fucked a pig for the first time. It was really nice, warm and beautifull. But right after it the innocent pig died. First I thought it was coincidence, but when i fucked up the second and the third they also died right after. Now I don't know if I should fuck again with a pig. Or if I better bang the goats.
SXi_Tim
Member

Registered: 11th Mar 03
Location: South Yorkshire Drives: RS3, LET B
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

215299546 I am gonna get myself a whore
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

918002259 I read my Wife's diary every morning when I go down to get her a cup of tea. this is the only reason I get out of bed first at all, so that I can read her diary. I also steal things like cigarettes and alcohol from a friend whose house I clean because he is disabled.

I don't normally feel bad about either of these things because I think my Wife is a childish little Goth and the friend is a state-sponging lazy git. But hey.. they bug me sometimes...
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

875668096 i was walking down the street with two friends one night. these 3 15 year olds that make fun of everyone started heckling us, so i strode forward to face them. i called them from their places of hiding. from the darkness a shadow appeared. without thinking, i punched it in the face. a moment later, lying unconcious on the ground was a 10 year old girl. i ran down the street after my friends, who kept walking (cowards) screaming "run, run! her mom's a cop!"

the next day i told everyone at school. no one looks me in the eye anymore.
Pablo
Member

Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Tom
Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by drunkenfool
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

875668096 i was walking down the street with two friends one night. these 3 15 year olds that make fun of everyone started heckling us, so i strode forward to face them. i called them from their places of hiding. from the darkness a shadow appeared. without thinking, i punched it in the face. a moment later, lying unconcious on the ground was a 10 year old girl. i ran down the street after my friends, who kept walking (cowards) screaming "run, run! her mom's a cop!"

the next day i told everyone at school. no one looks me in the eye anymore.



That's class had me in bulk
mark_d
Banned

Registered: 11th Jul 06
Location: Southampton
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 11:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

@ all of these haha
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
15th Jul 06 at 01:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

223608527 I once farted into an empty jam jar and told my little sister it smelled of perfume. She sniffed it and immediately threw up then began to cry. My parents never found out what I'd done. Every time I think about it I admit I feel a little guilty, but at the same time it always makes me giggle.
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
15th Jul 06 at 01:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

957559482 I didn't give my grandma her $25 change back.
chr15barn3s
Member

Registered: 5th Oct 03
Location: Farnborough
User status: Offline
15th Jul 06 at 10:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

626599608 I have a habit of peeing in class, i dont know why but when im in class and i have to go pee pee i just want to do it right there, i dont know whats wrong with me, i mean i dont really piss myself a lot just like a moderate amount... take into consideration that im in college... once i was in calss and i just pised myself and when class was over there was as puddle underneath my seat, everyone was wondering what that dripping noise was coming from... i have never told anyone abuot this and i think i need help. somebody help me!!
sometimes i've pissed myself at dinner table : (
Kyle T
Premium Member

Avatar

Registered: 11th Sep 04
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
15th Jul 06 at 10:21   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My penis is deformed, I think. it's hardly noticable, but because of it, I don't pull back my foreskin when I pee, and so I regularly piss all over the seat. not that it comes up too often, but I've never let anyone know about this, and my girlfriend doesn't notice, I think because she's a little unexperienced.



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