All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
|
Anyone know any good jokes?
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
nope
|
willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
|
still waiting on this quote, cunts  
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.
The man asks the barman, who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
Badoom tish 
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
I like haha  I am easily amused.
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
MORE..........
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You're under 18," replies the barman.
|
All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.
The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
|
willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
|
|
All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You're under 18," replies the barman.
SHIT
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You're under 18," replies the barman.
Did u just make that up? That was a poop one 
|
All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
|
Duck walks into a bar.
Duck: got any bread?
Barmaid: no
Duck: got any bread?
Barmaid: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Barmaid: NO, We only sell crisps and beer
Duck: got any bread?
Barmaid: NO. Order something else or i'll nail your fucking beak to the wall!
Duck: got any nails?
Barmaid: No
Duck: got any bread?...
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"You're under 18," replies the barman.
Did u just make that up? That was a poop one
Na some naff website
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
heres one
This pill allows you to fly
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
|
Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
is that you fro  warren g said your schlong was huge but i didn't think it was that big
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
Wtf Ben, where does warren g come into it
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
heres one
This pill allows you to fly
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."
Naughty superman
[Edited on 24-05-2007 by fro-dizzle]
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
Are we connected i was just reading that one!
|
Fro
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline
|
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
Female hormones in beer
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
|
Kellye
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
Are we connected i was just reading that one!
|
Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by fro-dizzle
Wtf Ben, where does warren g come into it
he said he saw you take a slash on the hard shoulder
|
