vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
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> At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in
> tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed
> and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4
> beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the
> big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow
> job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in
> his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he
> proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him,
> badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had
> happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've
> never
> seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
> "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
> ===========================================
> Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
> hit him?
> > > > A: It might be your bicycle
> ===========================================
> Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
> > > > A: Because if it walked it would be mugged
> ===================================================
> Q: What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
> > > > A. A Burglar
> ==================================================
> Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
> > > > A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin
> ==============================================
> Q: What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
> > > > A: One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut
> ===========================================
> Q: What do you say to a scouser in a uniform?
> > > > A: Big Mac and fries please
> ===========================================
> Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
> > > > A: What you looking at?
> ===========================================
> Q: What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit
> > > > A: The Bride
>
> On the subject of Scousers.........
> A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
> counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
> The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got
> a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his
> nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black
> Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job meals
> will
> also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies
> on
> their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".
> The scouser said "You're bullshitting me!"
> The man behind the counter said "Well you f***** started it!"
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MarkM
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Registered: 11th Apr 01
Location: Liverpool
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These are not funny and are a stereotypical view of scousers...
Vibrio please SMB.
[Edited on 28-07-2003 by sport16v]
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Shelly
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Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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I shouldn't laugh cos I might be one one day...
but... 
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vibrio
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Location: POAH
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quote:
Originally posted by sport16v
These are not funny and are a stereotypical view of scousers...
Vibrio please SMB.
[Edited on 28-07-2003 by sport16v]
I feel they are funny
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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LMFAO they are funny as fuck
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MarkM
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 01
Location: Liverpool
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shelley your are disowned...your a plastic scouser
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MarkM
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Registered: 11th Apr 01
Location: Liverpool
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quote:
Originally posted by vibrio
quote:
Originally posted by sport16v
These are not funny and are a stereotypical view of scousers...
Vibrio please SMB.
[Edited on 28-07-2003 by sport16v]
I feel my testicles often they are funny
whatever u sicko 
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Munchie
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Registered: 17th Jul 01
Location: I swap goats for mobile phones
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PLASY SCOUSER!!!!! HAHA!!!
GOOD JOKES DEM VIBRIO YA SCOTTISH POOF!
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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quote:
Originally posted by sport16v
shelley your are disowned...your a plastic scouser
never put shelleh and plastic in the same sentance, i'm 100% all woman
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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shelleh is on teh ball today
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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i am in a very cheeky mood today... raah
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
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RAAAAHHHHHHH
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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pug306boy
Member
Registered: 6th Mar 03
Location: manchester, drives a carzone kitted 306 Hdi 2.0
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i found those jokes funny too when i posted em on my works intranet message board about a week ago 
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
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its funny cos its true.
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Spence
Member
Registered: 13th Jan 03
Location: Bristol UK
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scousers talk like a bunch of retards but hey they av sum fit ass ladies as i found out 
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Leighton
Member
Registered: 21st Feb 01
Location: Liverpool
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wate a min im a Scouser  
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BabyBlade
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Registered: 5th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Rides: Ninja 600
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Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
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im a merseysider?
i dont think im a scouser as im not in liverpool
what does this make me?
i thought they were funny but felt a little offended at the same time
the tangled lives we lead.....................
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Adam-D
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Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
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how bout this
a scotsman dropped a penny, he bent down so fast to pick it up it hit him on the back of the neck.
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Paul
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Registered: 16th Apr 02
Location: Oop north.
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I'm also a scouser. I wasn't offended at all as it just goes to show that southern poofs lead such sad lives they have to take the piss out of northerners
[Edited on 28-07-2003 by Paul]
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Adam-D
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Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
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so what am i
i live on merseyside but not in liverpool.
do have to live in liverpool to be a scouser?
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Paul
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Registered: 16th Apr 02
Location: Oop north.
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should think so yeah as liverpudlians are also refered to as scousers. Why where do you live ?
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Adam-D
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Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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the wirral
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Paul
Member
Registered: 16th Apr 02
Location: Oop north.
User status: Offline
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so no your not a scouser also the wirrals massive also most of you southerners come up here to go to uni 
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