Phi
Member
Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
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really are scary
my uncle has just died of motor neurone disease (sp), in space of around 18 months.
died in his sleep last night.
i dont see him as he lives in canada, and ive only met him few times, but its still sad, and my mum is in bit of shock today. even though we knew it woul dhappen, but i cant imagine what my mum must feel, as her brother and sister died quite few years ago, not of any diseases but in accidents, but she has no immediate family except myself, brother and sister really.
has anyone else had to deal with terminally ill family members?
its scary!
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
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Mobby
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Registered: 31st Dec 07
Location: Leicestershire
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
have you got it?
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Jodi_the_g
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Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
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quote:
Originally posted by mobby
quote:
Originally posted by Robin
yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
have you got it?
Do you ever think before you type?
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Fad
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Registered: 1st Feb 01
Location: Dartford Kent Drives: 330cd
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Yeah its never nice, last year my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour and they gave him 5 months to which unfortunately he only lasted 2 months.
A guy I work with his dad passed away on friday after being diagnosed with cancer three weeks ago its just heart breaking.
Unfortunately its a fact of life and you just have to bear it rather than seeing them suffer.
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Jodi_the_g
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Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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Yes my grandfather passed not long ago went to hospital with a bit of pain and got told he had weeks to live.
Fucked me up as I just had heart surgery in the US and could not fly back to see him.
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Theham85
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Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
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Yeah. Its pretty hard, lost a few family members and a mate over the last few years
[Edited on 14-10-2008 by Theham85]
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J da Silva
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Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
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It's horrible, although in my experience I wasn't particularly close to the family members who have passed, I rarely saw them and and upon finding out their fates, I maintained the same attitude, I wanted to remember them as a healthy happy person rather than seeing them suffer and wither away, and I know they didn't want me to see them in such a way anyway.
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Russ
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Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
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fortunatly no. I can't imagine how hard it must be to witness. There is a good side to it i suppose. You have time to say goodbye and prepare yourself. It pains me to know i never got chance to tell my nan how much i love her and how much i'd miss her
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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quote:
Originally posted by mobby
quote:
Originally posted by Robin
yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
have you got it?
No, my dad died from cancer when I was 16. I was at home for the whole time he was ill (in between trying to do work for my GCSEs) and had to watch him die slowly.
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andy1868
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Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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robin 
my grandma was diagnosed with cancer afew years ago, after the first round of chemo (sp?) she was given the all clear. then earlier this year on one of her checkups they'd found it had spread to several other parts of her body, after the second round of chemo the cancer hasn't grown but hasn't shrunk either. she has til the end of this week to decide whether she wants more chemo or not. its a wierd feeling though, she doesn't let anyone see her on her "bad days" and so i only see her when shes feeling well, so therefore it seems like nothing has changed, however deep down i know shes really not well
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Mobby
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Registered: 31st Dec 07
Location: Leicestershire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
quote:
Originally posted by mobby
quote:
Originally posted by Robin
yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
have you got it?
No, my dad died from cancer when I was 16. I was at home for the whole time he was ill (in between trying to do work for my GCSEs) and had to watch him die slowly.
thats bad mate, sorry to hear that.
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Hammer
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Registered: 11th Feb 04
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My wee gran passed away at the turn of the year after being told she had cancer and refused chemo. She was extremely comfortable with it though being a devout catholic and happy within herself she was moving to a better place. She had watched me when i was younger so i was fully aware of that.
I carry a holy medal in my car with me everywhere, one in my wallet and i wear the crucifix she gave me for my 18th every day. She's not here physically but i like to think she's watching over me however weird that may sound 
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22B
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Registered: 9th Sep 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
quote:
Originally posted by mobby
quote:
Originally posted by Robin
yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
have you got it?
No, my dad died from cancer when I was 16. I was at home for the whole time he was ill (in between trying to do work for my GCSEs) and had to watch him die slowly.
I know how you feel, my old man had a brain tumour and died while I was 13(nearly 10 years ago now). Horrible to see a family member totally change and lose their personality, my old man lived for nearly 2 years after the op, but was never the same.
The experience definitely made me a stronger person, I dont get sad thinking about it or what could have been, life is what it is and you just got to get on with it.
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Fad
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Registered: 1st Feb 01
Location: Dartford Kent Drives: 330cd
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Amen to that
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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I have regrets, they play on my mind daily. I think the worst part is not being able to remember what his voice was like
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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i've fortunately not lost anyone that i was very close to due to an illness. my nan died in april but not from a terminal illness. she was just old and had poor health over all. my best mates mum passed away when we were 13 and i saw how hard it was for them. she was given the all clear for cancer after treatment but it came back very severely and they lost her a couple of months later on boxing day.
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Fad
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Registered: 1st Feb 01
Location: Dartford Kent Drives: 330cd
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
I have regrets, they play on my mind daily. I think the worst part is not being able to remember what his voice was like
Havent we all though?,
I am pretty sure he wouldnt want you to live your life that way. Sounds like you spent a fair bit of time with him so thats all you can ask of yourself?
I regret not spending enough time with my dad due to a new job I had started, but all I can do now is carry out his wishes and try and be prosperous and remember the good times and he was the sole reason I am a prety well rounded person.
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22B
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Registered: 9th Sep 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
I have regrets, they play on my mind daily. I think the worst part is not being able to remember what his voice was like
I think it comes down to what kind of person you are, I had a few regrets to start with and concerns, as I was quite young I thought he would get better after the op and initially it seemed he was getting better.
I often wondered what it would be like if he was still around, seeing other people getting help from their dads with their cars, etc.. and interest in there kids hobbies, but as I know no different it doesnt effect me and thats all it stays as just wondering, not regret.
I know for sure had my old man not got ill and died, I wouldnt be the person I am today.I think you have got to just come to a point and get over it.
It does not cross my mind anymore as my life has been like this for a while now, hard to explain but I dont see myself as someone whos dad has died as Im so used to my life as it is,as bad as that sounds, I think most of it is because I was so young at the time it allowed me to adapt better as I was growing up becoming my own person.
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22B
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Registered: 9th Sep 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Fad
quote:
Originally posted by Robin
I have regrets, they play on my mind daily. I think the worst part is not being able to remember what his voice was like
Havent we all though?,
I am pretty sure he wouldnt want you to live your life that way. Sounds like you spent a fair bit of time with him so thats all you can ask of yourself?
I regret not spending enough time with my dad due to a new job I had started, but all I can do now is carry out his wishes and try and be prosperous and remember the good times and he was the sole reason I am a prety well rounded person.
Spot on, the only slight regret I had at the time is not going to see him just before he died while he was still awake, the night he died he was asleep via a lot of pain killers so never got to say a proper goodbye. (he was placed in a hospice for his last few weeks, although at the time I didnt understand that it was for him to die peacefully)
I dont see it as a regret now, as you cant know at the time whats going to happen and you certainly cant change what happened.
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jacko198
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 07
Location: Buckinghamshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Corsa_phi
really are scary
my uncle has just died of motor neurone disease (sp), in space of around 18 months.
died in his sleep last night.
i dont see him as he lives in canada, and ive only met him few times, but its still sad, and my mum is in bit of shock today. even though we knew it woul dhappen, but i cant imagine what my mum must feel, as her brother and sister died quite few years ago, not of any diseases but in accidents, but she has no immediate family except myself, brother and sister really.
has anyone else had to deal with terminally ill family members?
its scary!
My grandma died of exactly the same thing, it was horrible, as she could no longer talk, or move, her body just shut down slowly Was about 10 years ago if i remember correctly
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RS6
Member
Registered: 5th Nov 03
Location: with MJ
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
quote:
Originally posted by mobby
quote:
Originally posted by Robin
yep. and it's fucked me up good and proper if I'm honest.
have you got it?
No, my dad died from cancer when I was 16. I was at home for the whole time he was ill (in between trying to do work for my GCSEs) and had to watch him die slowly.
same thing happened to me, my dad died of cancer in 2004 i was with him the whole way through it over 6 yrs he got worse and worse and finally lost the battle just before my 21st birthday, some of the worst times were when me and mum had to pick him up off the floor, lost all his strength and went to nothing
never really enjoyed my teenage years as most people do growing up,
i was to wraped up with family and esp being with my dad, i don't have any regrets about anything though
[Edited on 14-10-2008 by RS6]
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Corsa_phi
really are scary
my uncle has just died of motor neurone disease (sp), in space of around 18 months.
died in his sleep last night.
i dont see him as he lives in canada, and ive only met him few times, but its still sad, and my mum is in bit of shock today. even though we knew it woul dhappen, but i cant imagine what my mum must feel, as her brother and sister died quite few years ago, not of any diseases but in accidents, but she has no immediate family except myself, brother and sister really.
has anyone else had to deal with terminally ill family members?
its scary!
Lost three relatives to lung cancer. You have to hold onto the memory of them from before the symptoms defined the person.
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loubielou
Member
Registered: 14th Jan 07
Location: North Finchley, Greater London
User status: Offline
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My aunt died earlier this year due to bowel cancer, she only found out a few weeks before and it was too late to do anything about it.
My grandad has stomach cancer atm that cant be cured.
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Phi
Member
Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
I think the worst part is not being able to remember what his voice was like
i always miss the sound of my nans voice always feels like she missed out on me growing up, i was only 11.
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