Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
Just got a joke and have to share it as im bussin up here 
"Young bloke pulls older woman at a club. She's 61 but looks very good for her age.
On the way back to her house he's thinking mmm! i bet her daughter is hot.
When out of the blue she asks if he'd like a Sportsmans double?
"whats that?" He asks. "its a mother and daughter threesome! she says
"WOW YES PLEASE" he says
So as they go in her front door, she puts the hall light on and shouts
"Mum are you still awake?" discustinnggg
anyone got any good'uns?
|
Ste L
Member
Registered: 3rd Jul 06
Location: Manchester Drives: 106 16v Rallye
User status: Offline
|
this would be funny if it was in offday...
|
stu_c
Member
Registered: 11th Dec 07
Location: Westleigh, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
|
whats the difference in acne and gary glitter??
acne waits till ur 13 2 cum on ur face!¬!!!
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
knewww there was somewhere for this sorta thing
cheers 
[Edited on 06-09-2008 by Cypriot_Sri_Geeza]
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by bigboy219
whats the difference in acne and gary glitter??
acne waits till ur 13 2 cum on ur face!¬!!!
HAHA fuckkk dattt
|
Jordan C
Member
Registered: 3rd Dec 07
Location: Dundee City Drives: Valver Corsa
User status: Offline
|
What does the average Pakistani weigh?
Cola Cubes and Dolly Mixtures
|
little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
|
A guy fancies a girl in his office, but she has a boyfriend. He approaches her anyway and offers her £1000 if she'll have sex with him, He says "I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."
The girl consults her boyfriend, who advises her to go for it and pick it up real quick and he wont have a chance. A couple of hours later he calls her and asks what's going on. She replies, "The clever b*stard used coins!!!!
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
Army captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection he notices a camel tied up outside the mens barracks.
he asks a soldier why its there...Soldier replies "well sir there are 250 men here and no women. Some times the men get 'urges'.
A month later the captain gets urges of his own. He puts a ladder behind the camel..drops his pants and has sex with the camel.
He asks the soldier "is that how the men do it?"
"No sir..they usually ride it to the brothel"
|
Corsa_Scotty
Member
Registered: 8th Aug 07
Location: Scottish Borders
User status: Offline
|
Why was gary glitter arrested?......
becuase he had class B drugs in his bedroom, class C drugs in his living room and the rest of class 5A in his bedroom lmao
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
cold
|
Corsa_Scotty
Member
Registered: 8th Aug 07
Location: Scottish Borders
User status: Offline
|
Why is a synogogue round?
So they cant hide in the corner when the money box comes round
|
little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
|
scott :O
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Corsa_Scotty
Why is a synogogue round?
So they cant hide in the corner when the money box comes round
|
Corsa_Scotty
Member
Registered: 8th Aug 07
Location: Scottish Borders
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by little_duke
scott :O
Mark 
|
m1ke
Member
Registered: 9th Sep 05
Location: Tewkesbury
User status: Offline
|
A couple are sat up late on saturday night waiting for their 17year old son to get home, eventually he comes in smiling saying mum dad guess what.....i had sex for the first time tonight and it was great.
the dad replies oh great news thats a cause to celebrate so i will buy you that bike you wanted, but you will have to wait till payday.
no problem the son replies my arse is too sore to ride it anyway
a man was sunbathing naked, he covered his privates when he saw a little girl,he told her that he was hiding a bird. she left and he fell asleep. later he woke up in pain and in hospital, he didnt know what had happend. the little girl came to vist him, she told him that when he was sleeping she played with the bird but it spat at her, so she broke its neck, burnt the nest and crushed the fooking eggs
[Edited on 06-09-2008 by m1ke]
|
daymoon
Premium Member
Registered: 1st Aug 08
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
|
read it all some time ago, only now calmed down to stand up from the floor to write this 
made my day looool
post more!!
|
Cypriot_Sri_Geeza
Member
Registered: 9th Jun 08
User status: Offline
|
|
dan-sport
Member
Registered: 9th Oct 07
Location: Bushbury, West Midlands
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by daymoon
read it all some time ago, only now calmed down to stand up from the floor to write this
made my day looool
post more!!
same
|
little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by m1ke
A couple are sat up late on saturday night waiting for their 17year old son to get home, eventually he comes in smiling saying mum dad guess what.....i had sex for the first time tonight and it was great.
the dad replies oh great news thats a cause to celebrate so i will buy you that bike you wanted, but you will have to wait till payday.
no problem the son replies my arse is too sore to ride it anyway
|
little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Corsa_Scotty
quote:
Originally posted by little_duke
scott :O
Mark
wrong emotion mate
was looking for 
|
little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
|
WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND:
Definitely not!
WIFE:
Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND:
Of course I do.
WIFE:
Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND:
Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE:
You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND:
(Makes audible groan).
WIFE:
Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND:
Sure, it's a great house.
WIFE:
Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND:
Where else would we sleep?
WIFE:
Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND:
Probably, it is almost new.
WIFE:
Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND:
That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WIFE:
Would she use my golf clubs?
HUSBAND:
No, she's left-handed.
WIFE:
- silence - -
HUSBAND:
F* *k........
|
little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
|
One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin tight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
|
AndyCorsaSport
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 06
Location: Horsforth, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
|
Whats the difference between Gary Glitter and a Greyhound???
The Greyhound waits for the hare to appear first
|
dan-sport
Member
Registered: 9th Oct 07
Location: Bushbury, West Midlands
User status: Offline
|
keep these coming lads their ace
|
