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Author Jokes
Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 11:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Am bored as hell so I thought I 'd post a couple of chav/ned jokes up, maybe somebody has better ones lol, but here goes

Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so
ever.


Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The policeman!


Q. What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
A. A liar.


Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.
johnhara1
Member

Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 12:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You must be really bored
Steve
Premium Member

Avatar

Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 12:01   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

most of the people on this site will be offended by this post

[Edited on 05-03-2008 by Steve]
eddiewhiteley
Member

Registered: 10th Mar 05
Location: down in albion
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 12:48   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

i think in my entire life ive only laughed at a couple of jokes, and i cant remember them so they cant be that good, i hate people telling me jokes as i just dont find them funny at all, but you have to do the fake laugh and say yeah good one i'll remember that to tell me mates,most of the time im cringing inside when im told a joke thinking jesus that is shite.
Warren G
Member

Registered: 14th May 06
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 12:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

someone doesnt like chavs
S@M
Member

Registered: 3rd Oct 07
Location: East Yorkshire
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 12:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

haha
Nick-S
Member

Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 13:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

worst jokes ever

id say the were more facts than jokes

[Edited on 05-03-2008 by GSi_16v]
Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 13:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Anyone got any funnier jokes, mine have all dried up
johnhara1
Member

Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 13:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A speeding driver is pulled over by the police. As the cop writes out the ticket the guy asks "can you arrest me for calling you a filthy name?" 'Yes' replies the policeman as he notes down the mans details.

The driver then asks "Can you arrest me for thinking something?"
'Nope' replieds the cop still writing.













"Well ok" says the man, "I think your a WANKER!"

[Edited on 05-03-2008 by johnhara1]
Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 13:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

ha ha ha brilliant
johnhara1
Member

Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 13:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Just moved into a new house, ill send you the address later but fuck me it's rough.
Myra Hindley is the Avon lady,
Fred West is the Gardner,
Louise Woodward is the Babysitter,
Harold Shipman is my GP,
Gary Glitter runs the Playgroup &
The Mcanns run the fucking holiday club.

The good news is: there's no pakis!
Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 13:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

ha ha, I would post a few racist jokes but I fear the word 'Banned' will appear under my avatar lol
johnhara1
Member

Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 15:11   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices something strange about

the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says, "Scuse me mate, I ain't being funny or nuffink,

but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"
The Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,

"Well, I'm a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me right foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"
"Cor blimey", exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them!"
Nick-S
Member

Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 15:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

MatthewR
Member

Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 15:14   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Steve
most of the people on this site will be offended by this post

[Edited on 05-03-2008 by Steve]


little_duke
Member

Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 15:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Theham85

Q. What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
A. A liar.


Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.



Pip308
Member

Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 18:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

two chavs, dave and wayne have a race over a cliff to see who hits the ground first, who wins?

everyone!


whats a shame about two chavs going over a cliff in a saxo?

a saxo seats 5


Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 18:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav woman?
A. Granny



[Edited on 05-03-2008 by Theham85]
tom-corsa
Member

Registered: 22nd Jan 08
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 21:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Q. whats the odd one out? a washing machine, a dishwasher, a toaster or a women...?

A. a toaster cos it doesnt leek when its fucked

Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 21:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Superlite Ltd.
Member

Registered: 9th Jan 07
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 21:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by tom-corsa
Q. whats the odd one out? a washing machine, a dishwasher, a toaster or a women...?

A. a toaster cos it doesnt leek when its fucked




fucking lol
Theham85
Member

Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 21:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Q. How do you make a woman scream twice?

A. Shag her up the arse then wipe your cock on the curtains
Skylined
Member

Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
5th Mar 08 at 23:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

What do you call an Ethiopian with a swollen toe?




A Golf Club
Welsh Dan
Member

Registered: 23rd Mar 00
User status: Offline
6th Mar 08 at 10:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A survey recently revealed that 80% of scousers have had sex in the shower.





The other 20% haven't been to jail yet.
Matt L
Member

Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
6th Mar 08 at 10:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Lol @ the jokes from pips onwards

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