Lawrah
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Registered: 25th Dec 04
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This is an interesting take on woman, and if they are out of your league or not.
Im telling you, its works,and its true.
"Absolutely, of course there's a league.
While I spent 4 years of my life doing not alot at uni, I cultivated an intricate rankings system.
Every bird was assigned a football team.
Now, titles were not just handed out like skittles at the school gates. They were given out as a result of a number of factors, dress sense, appearance, form, winter-ability, summer-ability.
Premiership birds and SPL birds tended to be yer home-grown talent. Mair sortae tits'n'arse birds, bit more commonly seen. For example there wis a lassie who wis good looking, big boobs and good form but looked dirty as. She wis dubbed "West Brom" - aye, a Championship side, powerful and could compete phyiscally but lacked the finesse to operate at the highest level. Then there was a very posh, prim and proper blonde lassie, milky-white skin and blonde hair. Immaculately turned out. She wis Chelsea. Loose associations with regions and social status etc.
There wis a raven haired beauty who had the most amazing figure and was absolutely gorgeous. But she was very plain and understated as well as ridiculously clever. She became known as "Bayer Munich". Ruthless German efficiency, success but with the minimum of flair and fuss. Then were was a bird we dubbed Leverkusen, whom we used tae see out in town all the time and would actually shout this at her. To the point she didn't know what it meant and her pals used to shout it back at us.
Highest ranking bird was Valencia, who wis fair-haired with that weathered european look and style right oot the Mango catalogue. Osasuna was a tidy outfit fae ma Economics class, lean and slender, blonde hair and brilliant.
The genius behind this was EVERY bird can be assigned a different team.
Therefore, these birds sometimes were actually out of your league. Literally.
It's aw comin back tae us noo.
There wis a brilliant wee lassie, very petite and looked brilliant in the winter-time - wee hats wi long coats, leather boots and tights etc. Tremendously well accessorised, she looked like a wee princess. Princess > principality > Small > Small region > MONACO!
We had a: Blackburn Rovers, a lassie who flattered to decieve but was capable of much bigger things
O'Leary's Leeds
Dopey Leeds (who looked like the above lassie but always had a dopey smile on her coupon)
Hertha Berlin - classy bird, great fiture, earthly features, nice shoes but Ginger hair. Think Boris Becker, Kahn, Effenberg. For stature only and association wi a German origin.
Liverpool (Fowler, Owen, Redknapp) - my ex bird actually, great figure, blonde hair, capable of competing but ultimately out of place at the big boys table when it came to the League & Champions league.
Also, there were plenty of Glenafton and other Ayrshire Junior teams an all."
Seriously, I'm delighted at how well received this has been.
At uni I had it down so well, it was breathtakingly intricate. There were so many girl's who had footballing monicker's (poor spelling there most likely) it got to a point that they actually started approaching me to ask what I was going on about - like I say, we shouted it at them whenever the opportunity presented itself, usually whenever they were spotted.
I used to have a "league" written on the cover of my folder and did toy with the idea of sticking up a league table on the noticeboards for a carry on.
Even fantasised about setting up a sort of World Club Championship, set on the bottom floor of the library. Each "team" would face-off on top of a table, covered in a subbuteo style cloth. Basically I was thinking of a mass lesbian championship which would've been linked back to a lecture theatre in the John Anderson building. Bookies odds on favourites the lot.
Aye, too much time on my hands back then.
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Jakey
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Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
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Summary 
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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I can't speak Scottish 
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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read it.
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by James
I can't speak Scottish
what do you not understand ?
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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I'm just teasing Lawrah 
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by James
I'm just teasing Lawrah
WILLY OOOT!!
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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You love it
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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You never come on MSN offering to get your tackle out for me James, why the favouritism? 
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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Because Lawrah has a fanneh. (I think)
Would you like to see it?
xxx
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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I think I have
It's hard to keep track of the random vaginas floating around CS.
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Hammer
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Registered: 11th Feb 04
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I always seem to get landed with a Queens Park, easy 3 points on a saturday and always bottom of the league
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Eck
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
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quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I always seem to get landed with a Queens Park, easy 3 points on a saturday and always bottom of the league
Most of the girls around here would be Newcastle, gaping holes all over the place
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by CorsAsh
I think I have
It's hard to keep track of the random vaginas floating around CS.
 I dont think either of you have..to my knowledge
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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quote:
Originally posted by Eckmcmann
quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I always seem to get landed with a Queens Park, easy 3 points on a saturday and always bottom of the league
Most of the girls around here would be Newcastle, gaping holes all over the place
Have you been out stabbing them?
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Lawrah
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Registered: 25th Dec 04
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"you'd be "Wigan Athletic".
A premiership outfit, you've got enough in your locker to compete. But its more about what you dont have that makes you so good. Your insecurities make you a formidable opponent, well organised and hard to break down. Turning that into real terms, you're well aware you're lacking in the height department but you play to your strenghts, never shy to get that ghetto booty on display or reveal a little bit of the bra and pants. Willing to use your sexuality to your advantage. That up-for-anything quality is alive and well throughout the ranks of a team such as Wigan, there can be no airs or graces and you may have to play out of position.
Your "capture" of handsome Scott and your caring qualities show that, like in Jewell's first premiership season, you can be considered a challenger for a prestigious European spot. But, a certain instability lurks within, as shown by previous Scott posts and your temper may see you self destruct at times. Just like Wigan's plummet to the bottom end of the table last season.
Wi that dirty look ay yours, the fact your not shy of a bit of honest graft wi yer sleeves rolled up and your past-years as a teenage schemie princess all mean that you defintely call the JJB stadium your home.
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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And you love pies.
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Lawrah
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Registered: 25th Dec 04
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A few teams came calling, I did see you as a Swiss team as you do come from the Highlands so I wanted to place you at altitude, you certainly wouldn't look out of place up there wi a chocolate watch, singing yer heart oot at the top of a mountain. Possibly Basle or Grasshopper's under Grosse.
However, I've gone - in your case - for Heerenveen.
The Dutch league has a reputation for producing a clutch of Europe's most talented youngsters. Fresh faces and toothy grins learn their trade within Eredivisie's top division before being sold at a great profit to big clubs offering big wages in "bigger" leagues. Think Van Der Vaart, Chivu, Babel, Robben etc.
Like Heerenveen you hail from a smaller city in a relatively small country, you hold good ideals and believe in true love too easily, almost to your detriment, just like the Dutch stay too loyal to their passing game. Like the Dutch passing game, you're good to watch but whilst winning plaudits you may struggle to win prizes. You're gift is in rearing your talent and adapting to change - you love your different outfits, casual/smart/business and have worked your way up through the bar and leisure industry, moving from Inverness to Glasgow and earned a big move to a swanky members club in London.
Think of Huntelaar and Samaras. Both made their name by scoring goals for Heerenveen before being sold the christmas before last for a combined total of near £20million to Ajax and Man City respectively. Yet they continue to operate at a good level, financially secure and always easy on the eye.
You wear your heart on your sleeve, just as Heerenveen wear theirs on their strips. No I mean quite literally, they've get wee love hearts all over the home top.
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Hammer
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Registered: 11th Feb 04
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Herenveen, there's a boot in the stone's
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M2RTY
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Registered: 25th May 01
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i read that twice and have no idea what it said
worst thread ever
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Ally
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Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
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WTF crock o shite
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Andrew
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Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
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quote:
Originally posted by CorsAsh
It's hard to keep track of the random vaginas floating around CS.
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by M2RTY
i read that twice and have no idea what it said
worst thread ever
I think it makes perfect sence
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John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
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To the people who really don't know what that said, how did you get any sort of language qualification from school, even in the 1st few years say
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Lawrah
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Registered: 25th Dec 04
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If you notice, Its not my take on things, its another lads, which I just found funny and shared. So I was fine with language in school,done rather well acutally. It is just most of the post is in scottish slang.
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