Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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"Sunday is a real rest day for me so I just kick back basically.. I'm on the road six days a week confirming orders all over Suffolk. Tuckeys biscuits have a very large presence in the area and though I say so myself that's due in no small part to the hours I put in.
On Sunday the Biscuit mobile stays in the garage, that's what I call my car because it's always got boxes of stock in the back. It's really a 1999 Vauxhall Astra but I call it the Biscuit mobile for a laugh............I like a laugh.
I wake up at about 9.30 My wife Rachel is a podium dancer at Zappata'a Mexican Restaurant so she is usually still out from the night before. She gets back about midday and then rushes upstairs to have a shower, Some days she's literally covered in guacamole.
My leisure time is more sedate, I have a small allotment where I can be found most Sundays buried under about six inches of topsoil, I just lie there and listen to the world go by, breathing with the aid of a rubber hose. Often when a passer by walks over where I am lying I will erupt from the ground and envelop them like some kind of bird eating spider. It's a great way to meet new people and it certainly makes a change from selling biscuits, which I hate.
In the afternoons I creep into peoples gardens and paint over the eyeballs of garden gnomes giving the lovable little fellows a more sinister aspect.
Rachel and myself will round off the day by boiling up things in a large pot in order to make soup. Last week for instance we enjoyed a broth distilled from a policeman's helmet, a Disco Hits album from 1978 and a tin of bowling ball wax. Not to everyone's taste I know but we enjoy it.
So like I said a real rest day..........would you like a biscuit? "
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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PMSL 
has to be the best post in weeks.
CS has been a bit on the dull side.
a cracking re-telling of your life mate. pretty accurate too 
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CCA
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 04
Location: Somewhere Drives: Not a bloody Vauxhall!
User status: Offline
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are they chocolate digestives?
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CCA
are they chocolate digestives?
Tuckeys Biscuits, my dear 
[Edited on 30-03-2006 by gianluigi]
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CCA
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 04
Location: Somewhere Drives: Not a bloody Vauxhall!
User status: Offline
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dont ffs me
[Edited on 30-03-2006 by CCA]
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CCA
dont ffs me
[Edited on 30-03-2006 by CCA]
what are you talking about 
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CCA
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 04
Location: Somewhere Drives: Not a bloody Vauxhall!
User status: Offline
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 oh wow how you tricked me
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Special day in Ipswich this weekend
"Ipswich pensioners are invited to take part in Bobby Balls rooftop safari next Wednesday when one half of the ground breaking comedy duo leads them on a high speed exploration of the fascinating world of moss and droppings to be found nestled in the guttering of local buildings.
It costs £ 3.50 and that now includes the rental of a safety harness so organisers hope to avoid the unpleasantness of last year when old folk were raining down on shoppers like over ripe fruit."
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K2 GTi
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
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hoe hoe, youse a hoe, hoe!
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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where you getting this info from Mr Crowe?
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Anyone for mince?
"An Ipswich man plans to fill the pockets of his overcoat with mince and stand in a car park, all in aid of charity. Stevie Pearlman a semi literate bath carpeter from Branford hopes to raise £3,000,000 for C.S.N.Y an organisation that helps people overcome the stigma of having an embarrassing or inappropriate surname.
"My own surname is fairly normal but that doesn't mean that I can't empathise with the plight of those who are not so fortunate" said Mr Pearlman who as already raised £2.50 nude skipping across Napoleonic War battlefields in Spain.
Ipswich Euro MP Frank Poopoo said "It's a great effort"
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Ohhh, crime wave in due to Chuck Norris 
"Ipswich police say that pirated copies of a straight to video 1985 movie called "Kickbox Fury" are to blame for the steep rise in juvenile crime throughout the region.
In the movie Chuck Norris plays a Catholic priest who loses both arms in a bungled driving test. Using only his kickboxing skills and the power of his beliefs he takes on a drug pushing crime cartel headed by Chevy Chase. The video which boasts a soundtrack featuring among others punk band Toto Coelo has become a cult favorite in Ipswich school playgrounds. It is being held directly responsible for anti social behavior such as Street Poetry, Underage Percussion and Tramp Graffiti where harmless old homeless men are daubed with offensive slogans such as "Fart" and "Cock Jockey"
Det Inspector Roger Thinnis of the Juvenile Crime Prevention Unit said " I would fire all the little bleeders out of a big cannon if it were up to me, but my hands are tied."
[Edited on 30-03-2006 by Ojc]
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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OMG Ipswich isn't this crazy
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Mather.16v
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
User status: Offline
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SAD 
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Mather.16v
I love to be involved in auto asphyxiation
Weirdo
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Mather.16v
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
User status: Offline
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some of the shit you come out with is just laughable
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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i think that was the point of the post
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Mather.16v
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
User status: Offline
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honest
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Mather.16v
some of the shit you come out with is just laughable
Do you know what auto asphyxiation is?
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
quote:
Originally posted by Mather.16v
some of the shit you come out with is just laughable
Do you know what auto asphyxiation is?
this boy in my school died because of that
Mather.16v please becareful
[Edited on 30-03-2006 by gianluigi]
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Yes, don't let your mum catch you doing it.
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Yes, don't let your mum catch you doing it.
he locked himself in the bathroom, so nobody could help
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Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
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cheered me up
wil go down along with the racing a milkfloat thread
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Mather.16v
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
quote:
Originally posted by Mather.16v
some of the shit you come out with is just laughable
Do you know what auto asphyxiation is?
looked it up on google
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