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Author Owning Customers
Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:35   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Today as I am bored I have secretly been slipping rude words into E-mails

i.e Securtitty settings have been.....

looks like I have typed it wrong but makes me feel special knowing what i've done
3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
at my old company i use to issue drawings and paperwork with

".......and a sausage"

instead of "and associates"

in the company name
Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
it's great I am hoping to proceed all day with one or 2 rude words per mail

might try to slip a sausage in will be difficult though
broster
Premium Member

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Registered: 6th Dec 02
Location: Drives: E39
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:45   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i like doing drawings and putting pictures of men to show the size ec, then zooming right n on the overalls and giving them comical name badges! how ace!
Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
make me one

Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
put intercourse into one
also try mammary
Jamie Walby
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 04
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
you could try cun t cleverly diguised in the word continue

cuntinue
Graham
Member
Registered: 12th Oct 03
Location: Lincoln.
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 13:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
last ownage of a customer i achieved was an arguement over when he had bought a product.
me:"its been 28 days almost a month since you had it"
him:"no it hasnt! its not even 28 days"
me:"sorry your right, you bought this on the 30th of October, its the 29th today, that makes 30 days does it not!"
Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Qualititty

[Edited on 30-11-2005 by Pablo]
VegasPhil
Premium Member

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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:10   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Customer: Excuse me. Where is the Sugar Kept?

Me: Aisle 16, Right under the sign

Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I like that Phil.
I get "do you work here?" Me: "yeah, i have the uniform on!"

Or the other day at TESCO Petrol at 2am-
"do you have I.D. ??"(for ciggies)
Me: "I'm 20 and I DROVE HERE!"
stinga
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 05
Location: Towcester, UK
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:20   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
try meow......i worked in mc d's for work exp few years back and i tried to see how many times i could say meow to a customer. I was the winner with 12
Jamie Walby
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 04
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
a few summers ago me and a few mates all got jobs in the same ice cream kiosk.

one day there was this twat of a kid who asked for a mr whippy. i said small yeah, he was like, no large you prick.....

so I made him a whippy ice cream that stood so tall out of the cone that as soon as he had paid for it, it toppled over, all down him too.......
dna23
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Northamptonshire
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
thank you = wank you

cheers = jizz
Rebrabuk
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 04
Location: North East
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 14:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Customer: "I'd like everything cleared off my hard drive without deleting anything"
Me: "I'm a computer engineer not a magician"
Carl
Member
Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 16:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
A good one for when a fatty asks you a question at work is to to
" fat cunt tell you" but make it sound like "(huffffffff kinda sound) i couldn't tell you"
Mertin
Member
Registered: 12th Oct 05
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 16:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
or say "hairy muff"

what did you just say? "fair enuff"
dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 17:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
'your a cunt'

what did you say?

'your a cunt'?
Ian
Site Administrator

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Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
30th Nov 05 at 18:56   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Rebrabuk
Customer: "I'd like everything cleared off my hard drive without deleting anything"
Me: "I'm a computer engineer not a magician"
Thats possible - fdisk it. Soon clear it and not a delete command in sight!
Ian
Site Administrator

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Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
30th Nov 05 at 18:57   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
c u next Tuesday.
chris-sri
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 05
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 19:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
We used to play a game at work where we had a different phrase to slip into a conversation with a customer every day. Just easy things like blowjob "give it a blow....jobs a gooden" when fixing a phone.
Mistamist
Member
Registered: 16th Jul 03
Location: Gillingham, Kent
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 19:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
"Spank ya furry crutch" when you finish a conversation
Danny P
Member
Registered: 20th Nov 02
Location: Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 19:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Working where i work i get to abuse most people when they ring me
James_DT
Member
Registered: 9th Apr 04
Location: Cambridgeshire
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 20:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by All Torque
Or the other day at TESCO Petrol at 2am-
"do you have I.D. ??"(for ciggies)
Me: "I'm 20 and I DROVE HERE!"

This happened to me at the local Tesco Petrol Station. I'd even been in earlier in the day and filled the car up.
Ian S
Member
Registered: 31st Jul 00
Location: merseyside Builds: Nova & Drives Astra Gsi Turbo
User status: Offline
30th Nov 05 at 21:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by stinga
try meow......i worked in mc d's for work exp few years back and i tried to see how many times i could say meow to a customer. I was the winner with 12

lol super troopers

Do you see me jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

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