CRFC
Member
Registered: 26th Jan 05
Location: Ireland
User status: Offline
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So my friend is talking to a random girl off the internet,just read the whole thing this is the funniest shht i ever ever read!!
j_gurli3: Hi
sLeRpDoZe: hey now
sLeRpDoZe: who is this?
j_gurli3: just a someone?
sLeRpDoZe: a someone I know?
j_gurli3: nope
sLeRpDoZe: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
j_gurli3: well sorrrrrry
j_gurli3: I just wanted to chat with you
sLeRpDoZe: why?
j_gurli3: nevermind your an asshole
sLeRpDoZe: wait wait wait
j_gurli3: yes?
sLeRpDoZe: look im sorry. im just a little paranoid
j_gurli3: paranoid?
sLeRpDoZe: yeee
j_gurli3: of what?
j_gurli3: me?
sLeRpDoZe: No. im in hiding
j_gurli3: LOL
sLeRpDoZe: dont **** laugh at me!
sLeRpDoZe: this shit is serious!
j_gurli3: What are you hiding from?
sLeRpDoZe: the cops
j_gurli3: gimme a **** break
sLeRpDoZe: im serious
j_gurli3: I don't get it
sLeRpDoZe: the cops are after me
j_gurli3: For what?
sLeRpDoZe: im wanted in three states
j_gurli3: For???
sLeRpDoZe: Its kindof embarrasing
sLeRpDoZe: I had sex with a turkey
sLeRpDoZe: hello?
j_gurli3: You are **** sick.
sLeRpDoZe: send me your picture
j_gurli3: why?
sLeRpDoZe: so i know you aren't one of them
j_gurli3: One of what?
sLeRpDoZe: the cops
j_gurli3: I'm not a cop i told you
sLeRpDoZe: then send me your picture
j_gurli3: hold on
sLeRpDoZe: hurry up
sLeRpDoZe: are you there?
sLeRpDoZe: **** you, cop!
j_gurli3: Hey sorry
j_gurli3: I had to do something for my mom.
sLeRpDoZe: i thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me
sLeRpDoZe: when really you were notifying the authorities
sLeRpDoZe: werent you!?
j_gurli3: thats not it
sLeRpDoZe: then what
j_gurli3: I dont want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
sLeRpDoZe: most cops arent
j_gurli3: IM NOT A **** COP YOU DICKHEAD!
sLeRpDoZe: then send me the picture
j_gurli3: fine. What's your e-mail?
sLeRpDoZe: tust send it through here
j_gurli3: alright
j_gurli3: Did you get it?
sLeRpDoZe: hold on... im looking
j_gurli3: That was me back in may
j_gurli3: I've lost weight since then.
sLeRpDoZe: I hope so
j_gurli3: what?!?
j_gurli3: that hurt my feelings.
sLeRpDoZe: did it
j_gurli3: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
sLeRpDoZe: will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
j_gurli3: yes
sLeRpDoZe: alright let me find it
j_gurli3: kks
sLeRpDoZe: Okay here it is
j_gurli3: this isn't you.
sLeRpDoZe: OFCOUSE it is
j_gurli3: You don't look like that.
sLeRpDoZe: how the hell do you know?
j_gurli3: cause your profile has another picture.
sLeRpDoZe: the profile pic is a fake
sLeRpDoZe: I use it to hide from the cops
j_gurli3: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
sLeRpDoZe: well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
sLeRpDoZe: not to mention all the groceries
j_gurli3: Go **** yourself
sLeRpDoZe: i was going to until I saw that picture
sLeRpDoZe: now my dick won't get hard for a week.
j_gurli3: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
j_gurli3: You've done nothing but slam me.
j_gurli3: you hurt me.
sLeRpDoZe: and calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
j_gurli3: I thought you were bullshitting me!
sLeRpDoZe: why would I do that?
j_gurli3: I can't believe that cops are after you
sLeRpDoZe: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
j_gurli3: FUC YOU!!!
sLeRpDoZe: You'd break both of his legs
j_gurli3: You're a **** asshole.
j_gurli3: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
j_gurli3: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
sLeRpDoZe: ok im sorry.
j_gurli3: No you aren't
sLeRpDoZe: ur right, im not
sLeRpDoZe: HAARRRRR!
j_gurli3: I'm done with you
sLeRpDoZe: aww im sorry
j_gurli3: I'm putting you on ignore
sLeRpDoZe: wait a sec
sLeRpDoZe: we got off on the wrong foot
sLeRpDoZe: wanna start over?
j_gurli3: No
sLeRpDoZe: Ill eat your pussy
j_gurli3: You'll what?
sLeRpDoZe: you heard me
sLeRpDoZe: i said ill eat your pussy
j_gurli3: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my
picture
sLeRpDoZe: do i need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
j_gurli3: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
sLeRpDoZe: well I'm not like most men
sLeRpDoZe: i get excited in different ways
j_gurli3: Like what?
sLeRpDoZe: do you really wanna know?
j_gurli3: I don't know
sLeRpDoZe: you have to tell me yes or no
j_gurli3: I'm afraid to
sLeRpDoZe: y
j_gurli3: cause
sLeRpDoZe: cause why??
j_gurli3: well lets see
j_gurli3: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you
wanna eat me out
j_gurli3: doesn't that seem strange to you?
sLeRpDoZe: nope
j_gurli3: well its strange to me
sLeRpDoZe: fine i wont do it if you dont want me to
j_gurli3: I didn't say that
sLeRpDoZe: so is that a yes?
j_gurli3: I guess so.
sLeRpDoZe: ok i need your help getting excited though.
sLeRpDoZe: are you willing?
j_gurli3: What do you need me to do?
sLeRpDoZe: i need you talk like a pirate
j_gurli3: ???
sLeRpDoZe: when I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
sLeRpDoZe: ok?
sLeRpDoZe: hello?
j_gurli3: You can't be serious
sLeRpDoZe: oh yes I am!
sLeRpDoZe: its my fantasy
j_gurli3: this is retarded
sLeRpDoZe: do you want it or not?
j_gurli3: Yes I want it.
sLeRpDoZe: then ull do it for me?
j_gurli3: sure
sLeRpDoZe: ok here we go.
sLeRpDoZe: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
sLeRpDoZe: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
j_gurli3: mmmm yeah
sLeRpDoZe: uh oh ...going limp
j_gurli3: Har
sLeRpDoZe: you gotta do better than that!
sLeRpDoZe: your picture was really bad
j_gurli3: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
sLeRpDoZe: ahhhh... much better i feel your pussy get more moist with every
stroke
sLeRpDoZe: i softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth
j_gurli3: mmmmmm you are good
sLeRpDoZe: i feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
sLeRpDoZe: going limp
j_gurli3: HARRRRRRR
sLeRpDoZe: mmmm i grab your swelling buttocks in my hands
sLeRpDoZe: u begin to sway back and forth
sLeRpDoZe: going limp
j_gurli3: this is stupid
sLeRpDoZe: ...still limp
sLeRpDoZe: DO IT ! ! !
j_gurli3: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
sLeRpDoZe: i turn you around to lick your asshole
sLeRpDoZe: i pry apart that battleship you call your ass
sLeRpDoZe: i see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole
j_gurli3: WTF?!?!?
sLeRpDoZe: they stink really bad
j_gurli3: OMG STOP!!!
sLeRpDoZe: i start to get fed up with your ugly ass
sLeRpDoZe: i tear off your wooden leg
sLeRpDoZe: i ram it up your ass
j_gurli3: YOURE A **** PYSCHO!!
sLeRpDoZe: ur parrot flys away...
sLeRpDoZe: ...going limp again.
sLeRpDoZe: helloooo???
sLeRpDoZe: SAY IT !
sLeRpDoZe: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
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R Lee
Member
Registered: 15th Aug 03
User status: Offline
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j_gurli3: this is retarded
damn fucking right it is 
PMSL
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Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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sLeRpDoZe: i pry apart that battleship you call your ass
sLeRpDoZe: i see shoot nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole
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eddiewhiteley
Member
Registered: 10th Mar 05
Location: down in albion
User status: Offline
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CRFC
Member
Registered: 26th Jan 05
Location: Ireland
User status: Offline
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Russ
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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thats old as fuk
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dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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i love these things, MORE MORE MORE
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Mistamist
Member
Registered: 16th Jul 03
Location: Gillingham, Kent
User status: Offline
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hahahahahahaha im pissing myself
j_gurli3: That was me back in may
j_gurli3: I've lost weight since then.
sLeRpDoZe: I hope so
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_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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Twiggy
Member
Registered: 15th Oct 04
User status: Offline
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Fucking is right!!!!!
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Pete G
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 03
Location: Barnsley Drives: seat leon, suzuki hayabusa
User status: Offline
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corsa-sxi
Member
Registered: 11th Jul 03
Location: Kingston upon Hull
User status: Offline
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BlitZ
Member
Registered: 18th Apr 05
Location: Ecosse
User status: Offline
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Corsa E-Tec
Member
Registered: 4th Feb 04
Location: Stevenage Drives: Leon Cupra
User status: Offline
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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ROFLMAO
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Siberia
Member
Registered: 9th Oct 03
Location: Leprechaun Land Drives : Zafira GSI
User status: Offline
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jesus she probably slashed her wrists after that!
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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OMG that was piss funny
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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It wasnt your friend was it?
I've seen that loads of times before.
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xXSpUdXx
Member
Registered: 26th Dec 04
Location: Somerset
User status: Offline
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http://www.office-humour.co.uk/item.cfm?itm=1741
quite a few of them on that site
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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sLeRpDoZe: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
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Thoday
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: Drove kitted corsa b now standard corcs c exclusiv
User status: Offline
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im suprised you lot didnt ask for pics
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Ren
Member
Registered: 16th Oct 04
User status: Offline
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j_gurli3: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you
wanna eat me out
j_gurli3: doesn't that seem strange to you?
sLeRpDoZe: nope
j_gurli3: well its strange to me
sLeRpDoZe: fine i wont do it if you dont want me to
j_gurli3: I didn't say that
cos fat birds need love too.
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ali_kerr_86
Member
Registered: 12th Apr 04
Location: stirling, scotland
User status: Offline
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pmsl
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