SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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what bizzare/twisted and funny things can you remember from your childhood?
I can remember going to my nans house in trinidad, they were rearing loads of chickens for a wedding. Well one day they were executing them and me and my bro were told to stay away. But being kids 7 + 5 yrs old i think curiosity got the better of us. We went to the back garden and they were picking the chickens up and slicing their heads off!! i remember peering into a big drum and saw loads of headless chicken bodies flapping around, i can remember the blood hitting my face. my bro looked in the other drum and said there were loads of severed chicken heads looking at him and blinking. I dont think we have ever recovered from this incident 
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Dom
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Registered: 13th Sep 03
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Nismo
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Registered: 12th Sep 02
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I wrote a car off at 5 
We used to live at the top of a big hill and me mum was getting the shopping in and i was playing driving and i let the handbake off and rolled down the hill hitting cars on teh way and hit a wall at the bottom , nedles to say mothers £50 cortina was fooked
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
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PMSL
I remember getting my winky stuck in my jacket zipper at school 
Yeah jacket - dont ask what I was doing, bet not many of you can say teachers handled your sausage tho
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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i remember we used to play fight a lot, once we were having this massive scrap and i was pretending to be one of the baddies out of a death wish film. My brother was some innocent bystander who was about to get mullered. Anyway im kicking him and unknown to me he manages to pick up the phone and dial 999 whilst im pummeling him. so i carry on kicking him in and screaming stuff like "im gonna fucking kill you, gonna fuck you up, shoot you! shoot you!", meanwhile the phone is laying on the floor connected to 999. I see this and say "wtf did you phone the police", pick up the receiver and hold it to my ear. can hear two voices, one sounds like a female operator the other was male with an authoratarian type voice. The women goes "Im not sure, i can hear swearing and fighting and i think hes got a gun". So i panic and slam the phone down.
10 mins later we are sitting up stairs, and theres a knock on the door. go downstairs and there are 2 coppers, they ask if we are ok, if we are alone etc. we say yeah we are fine and they ask to come in and they then searched all the rooms. They asked if someone made a call and my brother goes "i accidently dropped the phone and it bounced on 9 3 times" (he was 10 years old i think). the copper goes "uhm well, yeah if you press 9 once it sometimes goes through". Anyway they leave, i run upstairs and look out of the window, there are 3 squad cars outside and there are coppers in the back with fcuking mp5`s i shit you not
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TimS
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Registered: 29th Jan 05
Location: Brignorth, Shropshire
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My god, seth that is the funnest thing i have ever read, i am crying on the floor.
The wife just cam in and asked what i was laughing at I showed her and she remind me of mine.
At school we did german and japaneese, well in german i said by mistake my mum is hot dot and my dad is hot rob. everyone inclulding the teacher laughed at me for years.
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Thoday
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Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: Drove kitted corsa b now standard corcs c exclusiv
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i remember cracking sum kids head open with a huge log i had thrown to knock conkers down
shouted for him to move and ran out the way bout 10 yards to the edge of the tree and it still planked him on the head
all u saw was some screaming 10 yr old running through the fields, the further he went away the redder he got
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Nismo
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Registered: 12th Sep 02
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I gained a fire arms offence at 14 
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
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PMSL
We used to like getting the Fire Brigade out alot but on purpose....used to be a points type thing - yeah daft I know but we couldnt have been any older than 8 or 9
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
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I remember at primary school again some kid dropped his dinner money down side of the stairs and got his head stuck trying to get it
Fire brigade took about two hours to free him ended up busting half the stairs away
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Thoday
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Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: Drove kitted corsa b now standard corcs c exclusiv
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iv got 2 many mad memories...
i painted i love claire on the inside of a kerb stone when they were building the new road behind my house 
lets say if i saw her again now i would hope she never finds the kerb stone
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CCA
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Registered: 6th Dec 04
Location: Somewhere Drives: Not a bloody Vauxhall!
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
I remember at primary school again some kid dropped his dinner money down side of the stairs and got his head stuck trying to get it
Fire brigade took about two hours to free him ended up busting half the stairs away
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
I remember at primary school again some kid dropped his dinner money down side of the stairs and got his head stuck trying to get it
Fire brigade took about two hours to free him ended up busting half the stairs away
PMFSL
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Sooty
Banned
Registered: 9th Mar 03
Location: FLAP CENTRAL
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shot a horse in the head
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Matt H
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Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Me & Desmond & some other lads knocked a house down once
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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at these stories.
i remember going into my next door neighbours garden and messing around in there, they hated me coz i was always throwing eggs and random shit in their garden. so one day i got ontop of their shed at the end of the garden and was just walking around when suddenly i fell thru the roof and because it was locked i couldn get out i waited there for ages, wondering what to do then i came up with the idea of stacking stuff up, and climb back out the roof. so i did that. but then there was some huge hole in the roof, so i snuck up their garden and nicked one of the matts from their back door, and put it over the whole in the roof
they didnt notice for ages, but then one day there was a knock on the door with my next door neighbour with the mat in his hand, my dad had 2 pay the damages
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
I remember at primary school again some kid dropped his dinner money down side of the stairs and got his head stuck trying to get it
Fire brigade took about two hours to free him ended up busting half the stairs away
i remember getting my head stuck on my landings railings
can kinda see them in this pic:
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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Kids will poke stuff in the funniest of places
I can remember my sis getting a lego mans head surgically removed from her nose once in hospital aswell
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
i remember we used to play fight a lot, once we were having this massive scrap and i was pretending to be one of the baddies out of a death wish film. My brother was some innocent bystander who was about to get mullered. Anyway im kicking him and unknown to me he manages to pick up the phone and dial 999 whilst im pummeling him. so i carry on kicking him in and screaming stuff like "im gonna fucking kill you, gonna fuck you up, shoot you! shoot you!", meanwhile the phone is laying on the floor connected to 999. I see this and say "wtf did you phone the police", pick up the receiver and hold it to my ear. can hear two voices, one sounds like a female operator the other was male with an authoratarian type voice. The women goes "Im not sure, i can hear swearing and fighting and i think hes got a gun". So i panic and slam the phone down.
10 mins later we are sitting up stairs, and theres a knock on the door. go downstairs and there are 2 coppers, they ask if we are ok, if we are alone etc. we say yeah we are fine and they ask to come in and they then searched all the rooms. They asked if someone made a call and my brother goes "i accidently dropped the phone and it bounced on 9 3 times" (he was 10 years old i think). the copper goes "uhm well, yeah if you press 9 once it sometimes goes through". Anyway they leave, i run upstairs and look out of the window, there are 3 squad cars outside and there are coppers in the back with fcuking mp5`s i shit you not
i'm pissing myself reading that! lol:
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave17
at these stories.
i remember going into my next door neighbours garden and messing around in there, they hated me coz i was always throwing eggs and random shit in their garden. so one day i got ontop of their shed at the end of the garden and was just walking around when suddenly i fell thru the roof and because it was locked i couldn get out i waited there for ages, wondering what to do then i came up with the idea of stacking stuff up, and climb back out the roof. so i did that. but then there was some huge hole in the roof, so i snuck up their garden and nicked one of the matts from their back door, and put it over the whole in the roof
they didnt notice for ages, but then one day there was a knock on the door with my next door neighbour with the mat in his hand, my dad had 2 pay the damages
im fucking pissing myself laughign out loud here, i just ate my tea and im laffin so much im gonna puke
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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2 stick out in my mind
getting a green lego light stuck up my nose, took mum about half an hour to get it out uzing tweezers
needing a shit whilst at primary and they locked all the buildling up during lunch. Ended up squatting behind some bushes and didn't bend over enough so landed a turd in my knickers loads of kids saw me too and just stood and watched
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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i just remembered, my brother had a bath and he got a marble stuck up his arse. I was only young and couldnt understand why a marble would go up his arse. i remember my mum sitting him on the bog and telling him to squeeze it out
I also remember once he had a massive dump and it got stuck halfway, and he was crying and stuff and my dad had to go in and help him
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
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i remember doing kinda the same and using my pants to wipe my ass, then some 1 came along quickly so i put them in my pocked, they said ' thats a big hankerchief uve got there' i jus stood there then ran
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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with each one of your stories i am remembering things.
think i was about 9/10 and walking home from work i couldnt hold my dump in any longer and i shat my pants. i got home and stuffed the shitty pants in behind the bog, my mum found them a few months later
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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I woke up last year on my mates neighbours floor completly fried out my brain & when he asked me who the fuck I was and how I got there all I could say was....gonna make us a cuppa tea buddy
I think id been there for about 5 hours and fell asleep cos I was at a mates party next door!
pmsl
Not really childhood but still very funny
[Edited on 17-03-2005 by Colin]
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