Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will.......
> >
> >
> > Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion For
>bakedbeans.
> >
> >
> > She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
> > embarrassing
> >
> >
> > and somewhat lively reaction to her.
> >
> >
> > Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became
> >
> >
> > apparent that they would marry she thought to herself,
> >
> >
> > He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this
>carrying
> > on.
> >
> >
> > " She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
> >
> >
> > Some months later her car broke down on the way home from
work.
> >
> >
> > Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told
>him that
> >
> >
> > she would be late because she had to walk home.
> >
> >
> > On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked
>beans was
> > more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to
>walk,she figured
> > that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she
>reached home.
> > So,she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
>consumed
> > three large orders of baked beans.
> >
> >
> > All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she
> >
> >
> > felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed
>excited
> >
> >
> > to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a
>surprise for
> > dinner tonight."
> >
> >
> > He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.
> >
> >
> > she seated herself and just as he was about to remove the
>blindfold from
> >
> >
> > his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch
the
> >
> >
> > blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the
telephone.
> >
> >
> > The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and
> >
> >
> > the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her
>husband was
> > out of
> >
> >
> > the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to
>one leg and
> >
> >
> > let it go.
> >
> >
> > It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
> >
> >
> > running over skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her
>napkin and
> > fanned
> >
> >
> > the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other
>cheek and
> > ripped three more,
> >
> >
> > which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned
>to the
> >
> >
> > conversation
> >
> >
> > in the other room, she went on like this for another ten
minutes.
> >
> >
> > When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom,
> >
> >
> > she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it
>on her
> > lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to
herself.
> >
> >
> > She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
>apologizing
> >
> >
> > for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she
assured
> >
> >
> > him that she had not at this point, he removed the blindfold,
>and she
> >
> >
> > was surprised!!
> >
> >
> > There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to
wish
> >
> >
> > her a Happy Birthday"!!!
> >
> >
> > Now forward this to all of your friends who deserve a good
> > laugh!!!!!!!!!!!
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Martin
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 04
Location: Dumpstable Drives: Aztec Sxi
User status: Offline
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Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
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richard_syko
Banned
Registered: 17th Dec 03
Location: Newport, Wales
User status: Offline
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K2 GTi
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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that's bollocks
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Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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has anyone actually read that??? i know i havnt
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Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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ollllllddddddddddddddddddd
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Dom
has anyone actually read that??? i know i havnt
unfortunately yes I did....
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Martin
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 04
Location: Dumpstable Drives: Aztec Sxi
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
quote:
Originally posted by Dom
has anyone actually read that??? i know i havnt
unfortunately yes I did....
affraid i also wasted time readin it 
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Smiffie
Member
Registered: 26th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
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old but stil 
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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Tom please only post good stuff from now on
Thanks
The Management
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Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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@ Dave
Tom edit the fucking arrows if your gonna post shit you get through emails it's like reading a kindergartens handwriting 
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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yeah thomas
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Oi it's tom to you gayboy
I only post sh1t jokes you should know this by now
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Oi it's tom to you gayboy
I only post sh1t jokes you should know this by now
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Oi it's tom to you gayboy
I only post sh1t jokes you should know this by now
shit jokes from a shit packer 
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Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
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Now now boys dont fight
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Charlene
Now now boys dont fight
dont you bloody start
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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shiiite
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Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
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Why not, what you gonna do like
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Charlene
Why not, what you gonna do like
I'll errr...... call you all the nasty thing under the sun and hurt your feelings like a true Internet hardman
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Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
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And im sure il start to cry
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