Winemaker
Member
Registered: 8th May 07
Location: Down Under
User status: Offline
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It's always good to read something funny. Add yours
Three little ducks go into a Bar......
'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.
'Huey,' was the reply.
'How's your day been, Huey?'
'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else
could a duck want?' said Huey.
'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender. He turned to the second duck,
'Hi, and what's your name?'
'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.
'So how's your day been, Dewey! ?' he asked..
'Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddle s
all day myself. What else could a duck want?'
The bartender turned to the third duck and said,
'So, you must be Louie?'
'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes.
'My name is Puddles.'
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*JonnyG*
Member
Registered: 2nd Jun 08
Location: Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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Poor old Dewey, gets sloppy seconds again! 
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Winemaker
Member
Registered: 8th May 07
Location: Down Under
User status: Offline
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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great You should go into town and kick up your heels.'
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
'Now take off my stockings.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.'
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Anty
Premium Member
Registered: 19th Mar 08
Location: droitwich
User status: Offline
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lmao
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aewajd
Member
Registered: 26th Jan 09
Location: BURNLEY
User status: Offline
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What do you call a man in a paper suit?
Russel
*BIG fail*
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mikenoncorsa
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 06
Location: Worcester
User status: Offline
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I got a new Rolex for my birthday from the lesbian girls next door! Think they misunderstood me when i said 'i wanna watch!'
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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Ranch hand
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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Ranch Hand
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