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All Torque

Member

Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:31

I bought a chessboard from the game shop down the road but I had to take it back.
I said to the chap behind the till "This chessboard is stale, mate"
he said "Are you sure?"
I said "yeah, check mate"

While I was walking along the street some lad came upto me and asked "How do you get to the sports centre?"
I said "My dad takes me."

Then I went to the hardware store to get a stepladder. Its a nice ladder but I like my real ladder more.
I used it to get a few boxes down from my garage, one said 'open other end' but it wasnt

Mind you, I found out that Ronseal DOES do what it says on the tin, it made me sick when I drank it.

Just now for tonights dinner I went to the butchers. The butcher said "I bet you can't reach down that half a cow from up there *pointing*"
I said "I cant, that steaks are too high

"
I bought 8 legs of venison for £50 but I think its too deer

hmmmm

Tom

Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:33

They are all out today eh

RyanSxi

Member

Registered: 26th Jul 06
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:34

Im speechless

Hammer

Member

Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:35

I'm also Peachless im away to the grocers to get some fruit

willay

Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member

Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:38

RyanSxi

Member

Registered: 26th Jul 06
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:38

quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I'm also Peachless im away to the grocers to get some fruit

.........

Tom

Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:43

quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I'm also Peachless im away to the grocers to get some fruit

I feel you peaked a few minutes before this

Hammer

Member

Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:44

I was just sticking to the ambience of the thread.....shit jokes

Tom

Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:46

quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I was just sticking to the ambience of the thread.....shit jokes

ahem

A child walks in to the living room and asks "Dad, where does Poo come from?" Without wanting to be too explicit the father replies "Well, son. First Mummy makes us dinner. Then we eat it. Then the body takes away all the goodness from the food to make us strong. Then we sit on the toilet and what's left comes out as poo".
Looking stunned and somewhat upset the child replies, "And what about Tigger?"

Hammer

Member

Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 13:48

MatthewR

Member

Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline

2nd Jul 08 at 14:10

my days lol

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