Fonz
Premium Member
Registered: 12th May 06
Location: Newbury, Berks
User status: Online
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Well, as it's St. George's day..
The Last Laugh
David Prowse – The Cornwall Poet
pub WESTERN MORNING NEWS - 19 April 08
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More needless legislation, that’s the answer to our ills!
As the credit crisis deepens and we wrestle with our bills,
But never mind the real world, the new approach to care
Is to sidestep other problems for the one that isn’t there.
So by courtesy of Europe, via Harriet’s brigade,
We shall seek out innuendo in establishments of trade.
And we’ll pounce upon employers, whose poor beleaguered staff
Detect offensive mischief in a giggle or a laugh.
Thus ogling at the barmaid, though she wears a see-through dress
Could constitute behaviour causing anguish and distress!
Her boss could be in trouble for the sparkle in your eye,
So don’t ask to see her etchings or they’ll ship him to Shanghai.
A phrase like “Here you are my love” when paying at the bar
Is the sort of sexist chatter that takes friendliness too far!
Forgo your foolish banter and remove that silly grin!
Or mine host will be reported, and the fuzz will run him in.
It seems our lords and masters find suspicion in a smile.
They’d rather we were fashioned in their own robotic style,
To pull our carts submissively like oxen in a yoke;
To pay our tithes and taxes, but never share a joke.
To smile away our troubles was a British thing to do!
It was humour that sustained us and would bring its people through.
We laughed at one another, we would give and we would take,
Yet we all linked arms together when the storms began to break.
You somehow get the feeling with each order and decree,
They don’t want us to be British in the way we used to be.
They don’t want us to be different or, in any way, alone,
For they denigrate all reference to a culture of our own.
We have laws already with us for the idiots within,
Whose ridicule is based upon the colour of your skin.
We have laws that deal with sexists and the bigots of our time!
Do we need another statute making levity a crime?
Offence is all around us if offence is what we seek -
We can conjure it from innocence wherever people speak.
Well, I, too, am offended, by pomposity’s pretence,
As another lawyer’s charter takes the place of common sense.
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