Steve X16XE
Member
Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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i love the natural and offspring ones 
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Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
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NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
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Tbh i dont think we are happier, just better people than women
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gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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FLOL
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats
Drives supercharged Tec with torque  
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mattfiesta
Member
Registered: 14th Jul 05
Location: Nottinghamshire
User status: Offline
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the cats one cracked me up.
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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Every single point is true. Especially the night one.
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve X16XE
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
I have about 337 bottles of shampoo in the shower alone.
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Steve X16XE
Member
Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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My mum is the same. Full of crap the will never get used but always buys more coz it's on 3 for 2.
I have soap, shampoo, electric shaver and tooth brush, that's it.
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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You always use conditioner up before you use Shampoo, and I always buy the two together. So I end up with loads of bottles of shampoo with about 1/4 still left in the bottom.
God I must be a nightmare to live with
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Mike
Organiser: North West and North Wales
Premium Member
Registered: 20th May 06
Location: nr. Skipton, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve X16XE
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
That's gotta be the best liine
All unbelievably accurate tho 
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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Women are meant to be loved, not understood
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danielleG
Member
Registered: 25th Jun 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
You always use conditioner up before you use Shampoo, and I always buy the two together. So I end up with loads of bottles of shampoo with about 1/4 still left in the bottom.
gald i am not the only one!
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by danielleG
quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
You always use conditioner up before you use Shampoo, and I always buy the two together. So I end up with loads of bottles of shampoo with about 1/4 still left in the bottom.
gald i am not the only one!
me too... they should make the conditioner bigger
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danielleG
Member
Registered: 25th Jun 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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i use aussie stuff and they make the conditioner smaller...WTF!??!
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Steve X16XE
Member
Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
Women are meant to be loved, not understood
I said that the other day
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by danielleG
i use aussie stuff and they make the conditioner smaller...WTF!??!
Aussie 3 minute miracle, that stuff smells gorgeous!
I usually use the Red Loreal Elvive, but I am using Trevor Sorbie for Brunettes at the moment
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve X16XE
quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
Women are meant to be loved, not understood
I said that the other day
I know, I stole it 
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Steve X16XE
Member
Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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I'll let you off this time then
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Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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The bit about the cats is true, Done that a couple of times
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