G.C.M
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 03
Location: Sunderland
User status: Offline
|
IS THERE A SANTA?
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy.
Per second.
Each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -
If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now
|
N3CRO
Member
Registered: 12th Apr 07
Location: Sandy, Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
|
HAHAHA!
|
Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
|
Summary?
|
Aaron
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
User status: Offline
|
Roast Pea IIRC
|
Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
|
I like roast potatoes.
|
Aaron
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Craig W
I like roast potatoes.
|
JM_16v
Member
Registered: 17th Oct 05
Location: Essex Drives: GLC63S
User status: Offline
|
intresting 
|
G.C.M
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 03
Location: Sunderland
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Craig W
Summary?
Summary? If he ever did exist, he doesnt now
|
Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
|
You sure about that?
|
G.C.M
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 03
Location: Sunderland
User status: Offline
|
Al keep an eye out for fat guys on roofs tonight just to be sure
|
andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
santa is real, i see him all over the place, supermarkets, shopping centres, everywhere 
|
Tiger
Member
Registered: 12th Jun 01
Location: Leicestershire Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline
|
That doesnt rule out magic.
|
Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
|
Tiger, how the devil are you old bean?
|
Tiger
Member
Registered: 12th Jun 01
Location: Leicestershire Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline
|
Bloody bored mate! Wish I could squeeze some enthusiasm out of Christmas, i'm holding out for tomorrow though!
How are you?
|
Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
|
Me? I'm drunk 
|
Huwsi
Member
Registered: 27th Apr 07
Location: Bangor, Gwynedd
User status: Offline
|
quote:
In conclusion -
If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now
Probably something to do with heart falure - with all the alcaholic drinks and Mince pies mixed with climing up and down chineys in 1/1000 of a second
|
Kurt
Member
Registered: 23rd Oct 05
Location: Hi
User status: Offline
|
he doesnt travel that fast, he just borrows bernards watch 
|
Jambo
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Aj.
Roast Pea IIRC
IIRC?!
Its been around at xmas on here longer than Santa tbh
|
