Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her 
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Dan.H
Member
Registered: 2nd Sep 07
Location: middlesbrough
User status: Offline
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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old
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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FPMSL mazin
ha ha
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rob_zetec
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 06
Location: wigan
User status: Offline
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lol good that
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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Awesome.
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Jakey
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
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Love it.
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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Butler
Member
Registered: 2nd Jun 05
Location: London
User status: Offline
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Thats a gooden
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vaux-tech
Member
Registered: 28th May 06
Location: Preston, Lancs. Drives: Astra SRI turbo.
User status: Offline
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fantastic sir!
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antmashed
Member
Registered: 2nd Aug 06
Location: Hertford
User status: Offline
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quality
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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barter
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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lol i wish i thought of that before,gonna give that ago,lol
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Corsa_Joel
Member
Registered: 3rd May 07
Location: Dunstable, Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
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LOL
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gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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L O L
Drives supercharged Tec with torque 
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Jambo
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
User status: Offline
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Lol
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Wrighty
Member
Registered: 28th Feb 04
Location: Howden
User status: Offline
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good one
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pikey pete
Banned
Registered: 29th Sep 07
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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and the truth is he is not getting sex tonight, well unless his dad comes home early 
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JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
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hahaha
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nik
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 00
User status: Offline
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Older than Jim'll fix it
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DC90
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 07
Location: Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by pikey pete
and the truth is he is not getting sex tonight, well unless his dad comes home early
Isn't it usually pikeys that are into incest?
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boyracer2002
Member
Registered: 10th Aug 02
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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PMSL thats great
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Gavin
Premium Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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pew pew pew pewwwww
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