mikeef
Banned
Registered: 20th Aug 06
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after The Examination.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his Mistress Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken"
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CorsaKen1
Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: Grimsby, North East Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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thats a grave joke 
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mikeef
Banned
Registered: 20th Aug 06
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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DBenson
Member
Registered: 4th Feb 05
Location: High Wycombe. Drives 20XE red gsi
User status: Offline
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pmsl 
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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p4uls corsa
Member
Registered: 2nd May 05
Location: BRADFORD
User status: Offline
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CorsaKen1
Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: Grimsby, North East Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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they also have problems working there because of all the coffin
*i will get my coat* 
[Edited on 02-05-2007 by CorsaKen1]
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CorsaKen1
they also have problems working there because of all the coffin
*i will get my coat*
[Edited on 02-05-2007 by CorsaKen1]
should have quit while you were ahead mate
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mikeef
Banned
Registered: 20th Aug 06
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
quote:
Originally posted by CorsaKen1
they also have problems working there because of all the coffin
*i will get my coat*
[Edited on 02-05-2007 by CorsaKen1]
should have quit while you were ahead mate
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Antz
Member
Registered: 28th Jul 03
Location: Leeds Drives: Myself Insane!
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
quote:
Originally posted by CorsaKen1
they also have problems working there because of all the coffin
*i will get my coat*
[Edited on 02-05-2007 by CorsaKen1]
should have quit while you were ahead mate
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the
dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!
But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar
patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,
the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked,
begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild, but the bartender is clearly disapproving.
The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons
chant "Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs
his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is
in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the
right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs
over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in
grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head"
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Antz
quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
quote:
Originally posted by CorsaKen1
they also have problems working there because of all the coffin
*i will get my coat*
[Edited on 02-05-2007 by CorsaKen1]
should have quit while you were ahead mate
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the
dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!
But the father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and
compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar
patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,
the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked,
begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out.
The bar goes wild, but the bartender is clearly disapproving.
The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons
chant "Take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs
his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is
in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left... then to the
right... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs
over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in
grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head"
even tho you quoted me i still didnt see that coming
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Antz
Member
Registered: 28th Jul 03
Location: Leeds Drives: Myself Insane!
User status: Offline
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It's the way I tell em mate
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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CorsaKen1
Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: Grimsby, North East Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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Superlite Ltd.
Member
Registered: 9th Jan 07
User status: Offline
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