PhilC
Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Lancs, UK
User status: Offline
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Essay, sorry!
The 1st time my mum met my current gf, she followed me through the living room towards the front door. "Just tajking Anna back to the station!"
She wasn't too impressed...
That same night, my mums bf had come into my room asking me to move the bed off the wall (shared wall) cos when i turned over I was banging on it. I sat up as he came in and he apparently didnt see her.
The t-shirt thing reminded me of another story from my younger years...
My PC used to be downstairs, so I'd usually spend the evening downstairs...
As you do when ur alone, i was.. well ya know... and just as... well ya know again... i heard someone coming down the stairs. I grabbed the closest thing to me to kinda "clean up". This just happened to be a sock. Turns out it was a false alarm. So I carried on browsing my usual non-dirty sites and forgot all about it. Went to bed as usual.
Next morning... I came downstairs and my mum said I was lazy for not wiping my nose of a tissue. Turns out, she'd put her hand in to turn it back from inside out to wash. I obv kept it quiet and just laughed.
I told all my mates, cos it was kinda funny. But, one of them ended up telling her. There was a reference to my mums bf been a bit handy over an issue of womens weekly (just joking obv) and my mate says "hopefully he can find a handy sock!"
My mum knew exactly what he meant. It was worse that my sister was there too. Wasn't impressed.
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STEvieXE
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Registered: 21st Jan 03
Location: Ballymena N.I.
User status: Offline
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Yeah, whilst givving it doggie style grab her hair and say "your sister's better than this" and see how long you can hold on for 
funniest thing ive read on here in ages, actually burst out laughing
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stuartmitchell
Member
Registered: 24th Apr 04
Location: Kirkliston, Edinburgh
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
more to the point what the hell went on for his mum to find out she was dirty 
You lot are sick 
My mum thought she was dirty because she thinks these one night stands are bad mmmkay
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j10E W
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Registered: 30th Sep 04
Location: maidstone
User status: Offline
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what a classic thread
only time i was caught was in the car in a country park car park, by the old guy who locks the place up,
that old guy just happended to be my neighbor who lives opposite me  thought i reconised his car
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Scott M
Member
Registered: 15th Feb 01
Location: Bexleyheath, Kent
User status: Offline
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I have been a victim of the dog running away with the party hat then handing it to her dad trick.
"I don't mind you living on the fruits of love but try not choke my dog on the skins"
Wasn't really sure how to reply to that one.
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Scott M
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Registered: 15th Feb 01
Location: Bexleyheath, Kent
User status: Offline
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The next time the then missus caught the dog chewing one she snatched it off her only to find out that it wasn't one of ours.
The look on her face was priceless!
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
User status: Offline
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Some good reads there!
Anyone ever been cought doing the deed in a car by the poilce?
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Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
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fpmsl
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rossnomore
Member
Registered: 18th Oct 06
Location: Fife
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by STEvieXE
Yeah, whilst givving it doggie style grab her hair and say "your sister's better than this" and see how long you can hold on for
funniest thing ive read on here in ages, actually burst out laughing
ive got a better 1, "fat bird rodeo". when your out clubbin, find the fattest bird in the club, start dancin with her, then wrap ur arms around her and lock ur hands together (if u can), then whisper in her ear..."ur the fattest cunt ive seen in my life!" then see how long u can hold on for. mate tried it, woke up with a black eye!! lol
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rossnomore
Member
Registered: 18th Oct 06
Location: Fife
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Monster
Some good reads there!
Anyone ever been cought doing the deed in a car by the poilce?
almost, just finished, doin up my belt policeman taps on the window "we've had a report of a firearm in the car" some1 had seen my bb gun earlier handed it over, bantered away with them for a while, then as he was leavin he said " next time chose sumwhere better than carpark beside the main road mate" was classic, the wife went bright red!!
[Edited on 20-03-2007 by rossnomore]
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by rossnomore
quote:
Originally posted by Monster
Some good reads there!
Anyone ever been cought doing the deed in a car by the poilce?
almost, just finished, doin up my belt policeman taps on the window "we've had a report of a firearm in the car" some1 had seen my bb gun earlier handed it over, bantered away with them for a while, then as he was leavin he said " next time chose sumwhere better than carpark beside the main road mate" was classic, the wife went bright red!!
[Edited on 20-03-2007 by rossnomore]
Spicing things up?
I've been at it in old car and police drove past and shon a torch in the car then drove off
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rossnomore
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Registered: 18th Oct 06
Location: Fife
User status: Offline
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lol, ok, not "the wife" the bird i was shaggin at the time , i just coulnt be arsed drivin to hers, so did it there lol
[Edited on 20-03-2007 by rossnomore]
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Cosmo
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Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tom
I've been at it in old car and police drove past and shon a torch in the car then drove off
saw your white ass bobbing up and down and decided against talking to you!
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
I've been at it in old car and police drove past and shon a torch in the car then drove off
saw your white ass bobbing up and down and decided against talking to you!
Probably thought it was some zombie creature feasting on a woman and didn't want to do the paperwork.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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No I think they saw her face, she was straddling me like seabiscuit tbh
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