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Skylined

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Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline

31st Jan 07 at 17:50

Modena, Italy:

The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire Pit-Crew yesterday. The announcement was followed by Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Merseyside.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths in Liverpool were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds. This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management, as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However, Ferrari expectations were easily exceeded, as during the Crew's first practice session not only were "da Boyz from Bootle" able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and had sold the vehicle over to the McLaren Team for four dozen Carlsberg Export six packs and a gram of coke.