Carl
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Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
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anyone done an essay on it and want to help me out? 
Worth a try, since my progress is non existant!
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drunkenfool
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Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
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No help at all to do with marxism but if you are doing politics and or economics then you might find this amusing 
An American Democrat
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous and Barbara Streisand sings for you.
An American Republican
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
Socialist
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American style
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Democracy, American style
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your' government.
Bureaucracy, American style
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
Democracy, American style
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it.
After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.
The press dubs the affair "Cowgate"
Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk
Pure socialism
You have two cows.
The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.
You have to take care of all the cows.
The government gives you as much milk as you need
Bureaucratic socialism
You have two cows.
The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.
They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers.
You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Pure communism
You have two cows.
Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Russian communism
You have two cows.
You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk
Dictatorship
You have two cows.
The government takes both and shoots you
Singaporean democracy
You have two cows.
The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment
Militarianism
You have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you
Pure democracy
You have two cows.
Your neighbors decide who gets the milk
Repreresentative democracy
You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk
British democracy
You have two cows.
You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad.
The government doesn't do anything.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows.
At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them.
Then it pays you not to milk them.
After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain.
Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows
Anarchy
You have two cows.
Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows
Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull
Hone Kong capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.
Environmentalism
You have two cows.
The government bans you from milking or killing them
Feminism
You have two cows.
They get married and adopt a veal calf
Tolatarianism
You have two cows.
The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned
Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo - centric, war - mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non - specified gender.
Counter Culture
Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man.
You got to have some of this milk.
Surrealism
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
NIGERIAN CORPORATION
You have no cow. You send an email to the British, American and Russian corporations telling them you have 500 cows to sell, and would they supply you with their bank details so you can use it to channel the proceeds out of the country. You promise them half of the illegal stash. You then proceed to clear out the gullible corporations' accounts and leave them a note saying "You Idiot".
WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks kinda cute
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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NIGERIAN CORPORATION
You have no cow. You send an email to the British, American and Russian corporations telling them you have 500 cows to sell, and would they supply you with their bank details so you can use it to channel the proceeds out of the country. You promise them half of the illegal stash. You then proceed to clear out the gullible corporations' accounts and leave them a note saying "You Idiot".
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Robin
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Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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thats a long joke for that punch line 
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drunkenfool
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Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
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quote:
Originally posted by Robin
thats a long joke for that punch line
You are joking right?
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Carl
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Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
User status: Offline
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good stuff, helps to understand them as well too.
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Marxist is left wing and fannyness, would fit in perfectly today.....hold on a second 
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Jambo
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Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
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"lee harvey oswald" as he was known (probably not who he really was)
Was a marxist lennonist
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Trouble is America in the 60's was anti Russian and anything to do with it. Kennedy being anti Russian himself would have given the goverment a reason why he killed Kennedy, propoganda Jambo.
Harvey Oswald never shot Kennedy anyway, CIA done it because of the cutbacks he was about to implement to their ranks.
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Jambo
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Registered: 8th Sep 01
Location: Maidenhead, Drives: VXR Arctic
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Much more to it than that ollie, he fired allen dulles (head of CIA at time)
Lee harvey oswald was a russian defector, also a man who lived in dallas, among 2 other people he was supposed to be. Spotted in dallas and cuba photographed and appeared to be 2 different people.
He was basically an alias, an identity they created. He was never debriefed by the CIA on his return from russia after defecting to the russians, considering he was based at a u2 spy plane base (same one as gary powers) Then swopped sides, now swopped back, which he should of gone to prison for!!
His "charecter" was meant to be a marxist lenonist which made him fit into the pro castro angry lone nut theory.
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