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Author New European Directive
PaulW
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Registered: 26th Jan 03
Location: Atherton, Greater Manchester
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31st Oct 06 at 16:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
European Union Directive




The European Union Commissioners have today announced that, after considered debate, an agreement has been finally reached to adopt a single language for the European Union. The preferred language for all European communications will now be English, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the final negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five – year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, the letter ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, Sivil Servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k’.

Ther will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ some 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to attain a stage where more komplikated improvements are possible.

By the forth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and redusing ‘w’ by 50 persent to just ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar moves would be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl.

Ze drem of a truli akseptibil Englis languaj vil av finali kum tru.
Jules S
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Registered: 24th Dec 03
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31st Oct 06 at 16:37   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


Very good
Robin
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Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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31st Oct 06 at 16:38   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Cool.

I can't wait.
Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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31st Oct 06 at 16:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
That's clever as feck
Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
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31st Oct 06 at 16:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Brilliant!
Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
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31st Oct 06 at 16:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I kan hardley vait for zis to happen
John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
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31st Oct 06 at 17:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Thats been about since the war.
mav
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Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
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31st Oct 06 at 17:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
baza31
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Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
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31st Oct 06 at 17:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
some people have wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much time on thier hands

 
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