Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Is there a more useless, vestigial vocation than ‘bathroom attendant?” I need a bathroom attendant like I need a pre-pubescent boy to powder my wig and wash my leggings. And at least with the boy, I would get to scold him for his impudence and smack him in the back of the head, whereas I have to give the bathroom attendant a dollar. Note to attendants who can read: If you let me scream “The Impudence!!!” then smack you, I will no longer have a problem with you and will gladly fork over a buck, or even two. One Ruthless forumite celebrated attendants, citing a Chicago area bathroom attendant who also served double duty as a shoe shine boy, supposedly exemplifying a bygone era of dignity and self respect… for customers. Shit, how do you complete that trifecta of anachronous degradation? Does the dude operate a rickshaw during the day? These guys still exist in California casinos for the simple reason that the patrons are primarily zoo animals. I once had a conversation at work in which a coworker and I began to recount to a third person, the time someone took a shit in the middle of the casino floor. After thirty seconds or so, it became clear that we were actually talking about two separate instances in which two separate people decided to pull down their pants, squat in a room full of several hundred people and pitch a loaf on the carpet. I suspect there is no such problem at Cost Plus, and can understand why a full time staff is required to struggle against the tide of excrement from people who grew up shitting in their drinking water. Still, duties should be limited to mopping, restocking and making sure that the high powered fans that blast away the vapors from chili-paste infused, projectile dihiaria never, never stop blowing. Unfortunately, these duties fail to keep the attendants fully occupied, so they pass their time milling about and making me uncomfortable. The worst offender is at the Commerce top section. The high stakes players at the largest card room in the world have access to a bathroom that could cause the owner of a Hardee’s in Wyoming to loose his franchise to scathing reports from secret shoppers. The aisle separating the urinals from the stalls is narrow—perhaps four feet. Nevertheless, I have never used, or attempted to use the urinals without the attendant happening to have found some excuse to wander the narrow strip of tiles behind me. Label me homophobic or a pussy according to your political persuasion, but I’m not comfortable urinating while an obese illiterate with a comb over furiously sweats over my shoulder. I mean, I understand you’re an illegal immigrant and have limited options, but don’t ask me to believe that chosing a job in the men’s room rather than at a car wash is anything other than evidence that your closet is full of yellow and brown hankies. That’s cool, but I still don’t want you watching me piss
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LeeM
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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i really cant be arsed readin all that, but i take it u dont like the freshen up men in club toilets?
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ed
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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Leroys. They are fucking annoying. I want soap, but I am not paying you a quid to put it on my hands. I want a paper towel, but I am still not paying you to do it.
It's this whole thing about trying to be classy when you aren't. A nightclub on a high street next door to Mc Donalds in a London suburb is not classy. You shouldn't need to wear a button up collared shirt to get in there, you shouldn't need to wear you shineyest shoes either. All thats going to happen is some pissed up old fart on her Hen Night is going to puke on you, or some twat is going to drop his drink down you. This is not classy.
A country club with an 18 hole golf course which you pay £10,000 a year to be a member is. These are the kinds of places which should have a Leroy. In fact, there should be one to wipe your ass too.
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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And operate a Rickshaw for free, rather than have to pay a over inflated taxi fee.
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AndyW
Member
Registered: 28th Oct 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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freshen up freshen up look good for the puunaannni, smell good for the fanny
thats what the little fellas do in our club toilets 
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stuartmitchell
Member
Registered: 24th Apr 04
Location: Kirkliston, Edinburgh
User status: Offline
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In magaluf they would sing for there money, literally
In the style of Danzell - Pump it up:
"dont you know freshen up, you've got to freshen up" etc
"freshen up for sexy lady and puntang"
Listen u cunt I dont want any of your shite to get laid thank you very much
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LeeM
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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id rather have a guy in there (that u can ignore) than have to stand in puddle of piss, or find toilets with bottle and glasses in them or not be able to wash my hands at all because the sinks are covered in sick 
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dna23
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Northamptonshire
User status: Offline
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The Ice House had these
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ed
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by lee_wee
id rather have a guy in there (that u can ignore) than have to stand in puddle of piss, or find toilets with bottle and glasses in them or not be able to wash my hands at all because the sinks are covered in sick
I'd rather the club employs a cleaner.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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We've got them fucking everywhere in liverpool 
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LeeM
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by ed
quote:
Originally posted by lee_wee
id rather have a guy in there (that u can ignore) than have to stand in puddle of piss, or find toilets with bottle and glasses in them or not be able to wash my hands at all because the sinks are covered in sick
I'd rather the club employs a cleaner.
they do, thats him... he just gets payed by customers
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antscorsa
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: london
User status: Offline
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lol these blokes are so easy to take the piss out of tho cos there gagging for ur money!!
no splash no gash
no stink no pink
no spray no lay
few of the classics
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ed
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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My classic reply.
Get a real job you fucking twat.
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DouglasFir
Member
Registered: 13th Jul 06
User status: Offline
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I hate toilet attendents! Luckily I very rarely go to places fancy enough to have them! 
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Jamie Walby
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 04
User status: Offline
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almost every club in Bournemouth has them, they tend to be from Nigeria.
They are renowned for saying things susch as;
'Smell nice for the ladies'
and
'Freshen up for the putang'
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gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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Trouble is you end up feeling bad if you dont pay them 
But once im drunk i dont care so its all good
Drives supercharged Tec with torque 
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