gtitim
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
User status: Offline
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it is me or are funerals the worst thing to do in life??
took a woman to her dads funeral the other day ( shes i prison) so turned up in handcuffs ( im a prison officer).
ive been to funerals before like, but hated it every time. didn't even know this bloke, barely knew the bird i was there with, but still upsets me the same. just felt like i was intruding and had no right to be there.
am i just a southern fairy?? or is this a normal reaction??
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Simon
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Registered: 24th Apr 03
Location: Oxfordshire
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spose im lucky that ive only been to one before, but its the whole idea atmosphere, can see why it would upset you being there without knowing people involved
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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dont bother me.
I am not religious at all so that send off / ritual part has no significance to me. And to me I would rather just accept someone is dead and try to move on. Yeah Im upset if its someone Im close to but dont see the point of getting all upset at the funeral.
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diddon
Member
Registered: 23rd Apr 02
User status: Offline
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been to a few
mum's in march was by far the hardest
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gtitim
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
User status: Offline
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worst thing for me was the lass i took was my age - 24 - and she never knew her dad was dyin. just was told by prison chaplain that he had died. was in coma for 11 days and family never bothered to call prison.
i know she done wrong hence why shes in jail, but the family never did the decent thing and gave her the chance to say goodbye, thats what guts me
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Cosmo
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Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by gtitim
worst thing for me was the lass i took was my age - 24 - and she never knew her dad was dyin. just was told by prison chaplain that he had died. was in coma for 11 days and family never bothered to call prison.
i know she done wrong hence why shes in jail, but the family never did the decent thing and gave her the chance to say goodbye, thats what guts me
when my gf's step-grandad was dying one of his kids was in Prison and none of the family spoke to him. They called him up and the prison brought him for a visit cuffed to a fella!
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Ally
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Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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Dont mind them tbh been to quite a few now, grandads one was ok, school friends mum was worse then my friends little brother died last year and that was awful, really awful.
Supposed to be a celebration of life but i dont see it like that, if it was a celebration you wouldnt all sit in black in a grim place like a church listening to someone preaching about the afterlife.
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Jonny P
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Registered: 11th Dec 04
Location: Merseyside Drives: Civic Type R EP3
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One of my best mates died. That was awful  only one i have been to. i havent had any others.
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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ive been to two. 1st was my dad's, and i have no reccolection of it whatsoever. Second was a mate who died in a glider accident, that was really bad
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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Hmm do you think about removing her cuffs? I know its agaisnt procedure but if i knew i could get away with it i probably would have let her have her cuffs of so she didnt have to stand in front of family like that.
Dont think you were intruding though m8, the very fact you were escorting her meant that she could be there in the first place.
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antscorsa
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: london
User status: Offline
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went to one when i was 13 for a good mate at primary school.
hated it and cried alot which im not embarassed to say, it was very moving and very upsetting at time.
felt for his family and his bro who i stil chat to.
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Jess GSi
Member
Registered: 2nd Feb 05
Location: Hepworth, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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funerals are really bad. whether your really close to that someone or just go with someone that was.
i have been 2 a couple. my friend from school who died recently that was the worst because so many ppl there were hurting.
seeing my friends crying and trying to be the brave one.
[Edited on 03-05-2006 by Jess GSi]
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Ry_B
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 05
Location: Solihull, W Mids Drives: 45BHP beast!
User status: Offline
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GitTim - I'd feel like you did aswell mate
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gtitim
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
Hmm do you think about removing her cuffs? I know its agaisnt procedure but if i knew i could get away with it i probably would have let her have her cuffs of so she didnt have to stand in front of family like that.
Dont think you were intruding though m8, the very fact you were escorting her meant that she could be there in the first place.
to be honest mate we risk assess every situation and person. sometimes we take cuffs off, others we stand and take barrel loads of abuse from the families. have made several quick exits in the past!!!!!
we keep it discreet as possible, hide cuffs where we can etc. i stood with this lass and her mum stood holdin her other hand, which helps, but not easy. costs me a pack of fags every time i do them, but if it makes it easier on the prisoner to have a fag, chill etc then i reckon its worth it.
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burgess
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 04
Location: Norton, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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deffo the worst thing in the world
Lost my dad and two good mates within a year
Cancer and a car crash
haven't been to one in 3 years now but dread the day I have to go to another
I guess its when U go to more funerals you will relise your getting old!
[Edited on 03-05-2006 by burgess]
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by gtitim
it is me or are funerals the worst thing to do in life??
took a woman to her dads funeral the other day ( shes i prison) so turned up in handcuffs ( im a prison officer).
ive been to funerals before like, but hated it every time. didn't even know this bloke, barely knew the bird i was there with, but still upsets me the same. just felt like i was intruding and had no right to be there.
am i just a southern fairy?? or is this a normal reaction??
nothig wrong with funerals until its someone you know and love
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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had my aunts on friday, REALLY hurt me
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