Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you
asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just
died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell
their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them
where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people
work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married,
how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions
or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy
and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real
husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have
you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror
as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and
keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most
fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If bt calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends
Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any
friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you
get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to
marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just
give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they
can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set
the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if
he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her
back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out
their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at
home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!"
Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put
them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if
they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should
probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mother?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up .
. . louder . . . louder . . .
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word
down.
I really love it when they ring me, sad i know but i like pretending im mad 
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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I'd like to put san andreas on in the background, and then shoot someone.
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Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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yes, or continually burp loudly when they are talking, repsond with a burp and tell them one means yes, 2 means no
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LeeM
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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im in telesales, but i hate my job, so i don bother speakin to people much, odd call here an there through the day, i they dont wanna talk to me im not even polit ei just hang up, lol
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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One asked my Dad if it was convenient to speak he said 'yeah I'm in now if you want to phone'.
As most to me are about mobile phones I tend to give them hassle asking why they don't know enough about my contract if they phoned me.
I've had the phone put down on me before now for asking how they were going to sell me a phone if I'm in contract.
Mortgages were another one, I have a two year tie in to one provider and there's like a four grand penalty to move and the woman was sure it wasn't a problem until I explained that what her company would be doing was putting on as additional borrowing, which hadn't occured to her before that point.
I didn't move mortages
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Matt H
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Repeat everything they say
Playground style 
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Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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Ian i do that
Them - Miss Woodward we are calling from O2 regarding your mobile contract renewal
Me - So your from O2 then
Them - Yes, we are linked to O2
Me - So you are O2 then
Them - Yes we are
Me - So if youre from O2, you tell me exactly when my renewal is due ...
Them - Ummm, well we are only linked with O2
Me - So youre not actually from O2 then
Long pause
Bye!
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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i usually get....
them.. can i speak to mr graham please?
me.. which one?
them.. mr j graham?
me.. which one?
them.. erm all i have is mr j graham
me.. sorry cant help bye
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Liam
Member
Registered: 19th Jan 06
Location: Stafford
User status: Offline
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Doug
Member
Registered: 8th Oct 03
User status: Offline
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I used to work as a TM so i know what pisses them off
Most annoying thing for them is if you let them go through their whle speech and sound really interested. Then when they are about to close whatever deal they are trying to close just say to them;
"look i was humoring you. You have been less fun to talk to then cancer good bye  "
Did that once and got a call back from someone else at the office having a go at me
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Ry_B
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 05
Location: Solihull, W Mids Drives: 45BHP beast!
User status: Offline
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schoey
Member
Registered: 29th Jun 05
Location: Billinghay, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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one once rang my mate, who lives in a 4th floor flat, and offered him a conservatry!
So he invited them round to measure up!
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Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by schoey
one once rang my mate, who lives in a 4th floor flat, and offered him a conservatry!
So he invited them round to measure up!
FPMSL
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schoey
Member
Registered: 29th Jun 05
Location: Billinghay, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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i thought so too!
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Matt H
Repeat everything they say
Playground style
i do this one
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j10E W
Member
Registered: 30th Sep 04
Location: maidstone
User status: Offline
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i cant wait for one to ring now lol
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Rich H
Member
Registered: 26th Oct 05
Location: West Sussex Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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It has to be done - They are some of the most annoying fcuks! Really bugs me when they say who they are, company they're from etc etc, then how are you... This is normally before you've even finished saying Hello! I tend to leave the phone off the hook, with "Privacy" on and see how long they jabber on before realising nobodys actually listening! Longest as yet is 4 minutes 
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schoey
Member
Registered: 29th Jun 05
Location: Billinghay, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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when im at work and i get them, they usually ask for the director, so i tell them, he'll be back in the new year!
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