leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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This is possibly a repost but hey
My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
Other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on his
forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted
It all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you
really badly.
She said - Well, you've succeeded.
He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'.
She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit
on the sofa and fart'.
He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave
you?'
She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard'.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving
Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
A: Reload and try again
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you
really badly.
She said - Well, you've succeeded.
love it
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Carly
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 03
Location: sheffield
User status: Offline
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A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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some of them are cleass
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Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
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Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Andrew
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
things like this make me mad. Why are gay blokes perceived in this way?
Woman - "Oh i get on really well with Stuart cos he's gay and he's so much more caring and thoughtful" GTF!!
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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women are so fcuking soppy sometimes 
I swear half of them think they're starring in Coronation Street most of the time.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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@ some of those, and Davey boy to be fair most gay fella's r really idealistic (from my experience  ) and therefore get on with women, the way it's described in that line (I know it's only a joke but eh) 'sensitive, caring, and
good looking?' has fuck all to do with being gay or straight I agree 
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MatthewR
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
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brilliant
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tom
@ some of those, and Davey boy to be fair most gay fella's r really idealistic (from my experience ) and therefore get on with women, the way it's described in that line (I know it's only a joke but eh) 'sensitive, caring, and
good looking?' has fuck all to do with being gay or straight I agree
it's all crap mate. I know a couple of girls who think it's 'necessary' to have a gay friend
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Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
quote:
Originally posted by Andrew
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
things like this make me mad. Why are gay blokes perceived in this way?
Woman - "Oh i get on really well with Stuart cos he's gay and he's so much more caring and thoughtful" GTF!!
Pretend to be gay
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Andrew
quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
quote:
Originally posted by Andrew
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
things like this make me mad. Why are gay blokes perceived in this way?
Woman - "Oh i get on really well with Stuart cos he's gay and he's so much more caring and thoughtful" GTF!!
Pretend to be gay
why would I want to do that? To get their attention? No thanks got me into trouble in the past.
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Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
@ some of those, and Davey boy to be fair most gay fella's r really idealistic (from my experience ) and therefore get on with women, the way it's described in that line (I know it's only a joke but eh) 'sensitive, caring, and
good looking?' has fuck all to do with being gay or straight I agree
it's all crap mate. I know a couple of girls who think it's 'necessary' to have a gay friend
Yes this too fag hag hoes they only like them cos' they're gay imo not because they like their personality just the fact they r gay 
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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think it's because they don't feel threatened by them. They know they're not after them so to speak
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Carr
Member
Registered: 1st Oct 04
Location: Leicestershire (Home) Ambleside, Lakes (Uni)
User status: Offline
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I laughed at the dog one
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by --Dave--
think it's because they don't feel threatened by them. They know they're not after them so to speak
Yes and also because they can speak to them like they're girls but don't have to worry about them stealing their man 
Hold on
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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