boyracer2002
Member
Registered: 10th Aug 02
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Some fella decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come
as different emotions e.g. fear etc . On the night of the party, the
first guest arrives and the host opens the door to see this fella
covered in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest.
He says to this fella:
"Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" And the fella
says," I'm green with NV". The host replies, "Brilliant, come on in
and have a drink."
A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the door to
see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa rapped
around her most intimate parts. He says to this woman:
"Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" She replies, "I'm
tickled pink."
The host says, "I love it, come on in and join the party."
A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, And
the host opens the door to see two Irish fellas, Paddy and Murphy,
standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the
other
with his knob stuck in a pear.
The host is really shocked and says, "Well, what the heck are you doing?
You could get arrested standing like that out there in the street like
that.
Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?!?! Paddy replies,
"Well, Oim fokn discustard, and Murphy here has just come in despair"
  prob a re-post but for those who aint seen it 
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TNM
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Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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AJP
Member
Registered: 8th Sep 02
Location: Third roof tile on the left
User status: Offline
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Bart
Member
Registered: 19th Aug 02
Location: Midsomer Norton, Bristol Avon
User status: Offline
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reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepost 
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Kyle T
Premium Member
Registered: 11th Sep 04
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Just got this in an email going around work:
"Two couples were playing poker one evening.
John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!
Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer.
John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. on Friday.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction. John quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"
In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."
Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player! "
Lotus Elise 111R
Impreza WRX STi
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