Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
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This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
every morning when he woke up. The noise would wake his wife and the smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop because it was making her
sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She
told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his
guts out.
The years went by and he continued with his morning farting ritual.
Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband awake with his usual trumpeting, which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked
him what the matter was.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I
didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and
these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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