Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
|
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day,
he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and
asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
Well, it's quite simple, really says the seller, whenever the bike is
outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain, And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter
the house, Sandra stops him and says,
I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we
eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything
during dinner has to do the dishes.
No problem, he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is huge
stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty
dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So
he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over
and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes
off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of
her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously
livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a
word.
He looks at her mom. She's got a great body, he thinks. So he grabs the
mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every
which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious
and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of t***der, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts,
All right, that's enough, I'll do the fcuking dishes!
|
Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
|
Old 
|
Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
|
really?never seen that before!
|
R Lee
Member
Registered: 15th Aug 03
User status: Offline
|
older than my great gran.
|
Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Richard Lee
older than my great gran.
 must be old
|
R Lee
Member
Registered: 15th Aug 03
User status: Offline
|
well she's dead now. 97 years 
|
Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Richard Lee
well she's dead now. 97 years
still keep her in your wardrobe?
|
R Lee
Member
Registered: 15th Aug 03
User status: Offline
|
nope. she's cremated in hong kong.
close enough though.
|
Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
|
Still funny tho
|
MatthewR
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
|
quality
|
Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
|
agreed
|
leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
|
seen it before
|
Half Pint
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
User status: Offline
|
seen it before but still raises a smile 
|
bradfincham
Member
Registered: 20th Sep 02
Location: East Of England Drives: Clio 172
User status: Offline
|
and its true about the vaseline
|
vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Richard Lee
older than my great gran.
she may be old but does not require lube
|
--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by vibrio
quote:
Originally posted by Richard Lee
older than my great gran.
she may be old but does not require lube
|
IntaCepta
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
Location: Mill Hill East, Greater London
User status: Offline
|
old, funny,
but why was thunder censored??
|
lozzd
Member
Registered: 10th Aug 04
Location: Winchester,Hants
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by IntaCepta
old, funny,
but why was thunder censored??
my ears!! MY EARS!! HOW COULD YOU USE PROFANITY LIKE THAT INFRONT OF THE CHILDREN!?  
|
SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
|
that is a fookin funny joke...
or is it cos im pissed
|
Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
|
|
SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
|
im a child... i dont mind
just broadens my rude words 
use this on the playground tomorow 
|
