TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, darling." She was almost nearing s*xual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No darling, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really darling! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
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purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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stu_jackson
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Registered: 8th Feb 05
User status: Offline
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P14UL M
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Registered: 18th Feb 05
Location: Scotland
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Genius!
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
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PMSL thats funny as fuck
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
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Oh yes that is funny
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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Carr
Member
Registered: 1st Oct 04
Location: Leicestershire (Home) Ambleside, Lakes (Uni)
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brilliant
i wonder who will be the first to try this?
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Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
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lmao
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chris_uk
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
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original one is better
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
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