TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.
HOME decorators. Use a roller in each hand and halve your painting time.
BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.
SMARTIES tubes pushed over cats' legs make for a futuristic 'space cat'. For a really space age look, cover the tubes in tin foil as well as your pet's tail. This also works with small dogs and the middles out of kitchen rolls.
LADIES When invited to a Buckingham Palace garden party, go wearing hair rollers, so that the Queen will think you are going somewhere REALLY important afterwards.
DEAF PEOPLE Wearing oven gloves outdoors is an ideal way to stop strangers from eavesdropping on your conversation.
HOMEOWNERS Don't hesitate to tell the rest of us how much your house has appreciated in value since you bought it. The more frequently you give us updates, the greater will be our delight at your good fortune and our admiration and respect for your financial prescience.
WHITE wine splashed onto a red wine stain will clean it up quickly. Similarly, fat splashes on clothes can be easily removed by rubbing salad onto the affected area.
ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness.
DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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 Good ideas for msn screen names there!
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Martin
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 04
Location: Dumpstable Drives: Aztec Sxi
User status: Offline
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nice pic btw 
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Aztec_sxi
nice pic btw
I wont tell you about a memeber of the forum who tried chatting me up via u2u
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Martin
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 04
Location: Dumpstable Drives: Aztec Sxi
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by TNM
quote:
Originally posted by Aztec_sxi
nice pic btw
I wont tell you about a memeber of the forum who tried chatting me up via u2u
good, i dont want to know about you n luisa's u2uing 
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Aztec_sxi
quote:
Originally posted by TNM
I wont tell you about a memeber of the forum who tried chatting me up via u2u
good, i dont want to know about you n luisa's u2uing
A male member.
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Carly
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 03
Location: sheffield
User status: Offline
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LOL sounds like the top tips page in viz
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Martin
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 04
Location: Dumpstable Drives: Aztec Sxi
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by TNM
quote:
Originally posted by Aztec_sxi
quote:
Originally posted by TNM
I wont tell you about a memeber of the forum who tried chatting me up via u2u
good, i dont want to know about you n luisa's u2uing
A male member.
male? ahh.. explains the stubble
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3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by TNM
quote:
Originally posted by Aztec_sxi
quote:
Originally posted by TNM
I wont tell you about a memeber of the forum who tried chatting me up via u2u
good, i dont want to know about you n luisa's u2uing
A male member.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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