On a train to a large computer convention there were a bunch of computer programmers and a bunch of computer engineers. Each of the engineers had a train ticket. The group of programmers had only ONE ticket for all of them.
The engineers started laughing, figuring the programmers were going to get caught and thrown off the train. When one of the programmers, the lookout said "here comes the conductor", all of the programmers went into the bathroom. The engineers were puzzled.
The conductor came aboard, said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the computer engineers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please". The programmers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later the programmers came out of the bathroom. The computer engineers felt really stupid.
On the way back from the convention, the group of engineers decided that they would try that method, too. They bought one ticket for the whole group. They met up with the programmers in the same car.
Again, the engineers started snickering at the programmers. This time NONE of the programmers had tickets. When the lookout said "Conductor coming!", all the engineers went to one bathroom and all the computer programmers went to the other bathroom. Before the conductor came on board, one of the programmers left their bathroom, knocked on the engineers bathroom, and said "ticket please."
America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle mission with one astronaut from each country. Since it's going to be two years up there, each may take any form of entertainment weighing 150 pound or less.
The American approaches the NASA board and asks to take his 125 lb. wife. They approved.
The Japanese astronaut says, "I've always wanted to learn Greek. I want 150 lbs of books to learn Greek with." The NASA board approved.
The Russian astronaut thinks for a second and says, "It's gonna be two years up there. I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban cigars ever made." Again, NASA okays it.
Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered outside the shuttle to see what each astronaut got out of his personal entertainment. Well, it's obvious what the American's been up to, He and his wife are each holding and infant. The crowd cheers.
The Japanese astronaut steps out and makes a 10 minute speech in absolutely perfect Greek. The crowd doesn't understand a word of it, but they're impressed and they cheer.
The Russian astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his knuckles turn white, glares at the first row waving a chewed up cigar at them and says: "Anybody got a match?"
[Edited on 15-10-2003 by Happy_2008]
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