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suicide!!!!
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[quote][i]Originally posted by Paul_J[/i] Over the last couple of years I've suffered from really bad depression on and off. Although I never got bullied at school or anything I've had times where I've been so low. When you have a depression attack it could start about anything. You could just look in a mirror and see you've got a few spots, then it just builds - you basically end up insulting yourself in your head. Since you know what's gonna hurt you the most if it was said to you, when you get insulted by yourself it hurts. It's not like talking to yourself, you just start thinking 'You are a fucking prick' - you become very paranoid about things, start thinking your mates are all off having a good time and they've left you behind when they're not... etc You basically just beat yourself up until your so low you essentially feel like your life is not worth living... I've had depression attacks when driving my car and I've just felt like not turning at the next corner. Its hard to explain unless you've experienced it and reading the above probably makes you think I need mental help - I don't. It's a normal thing, most people suffer from depression at some time during their life. I'm glad I've kinda pulled through it. My depression was pretty bad, and to be honest I had nothing to be depressed about. I can understand majorly overweight people comitting suicide. A really fat person would look in the mirror and feel bad, beat themselves up inside and then to almost punish themself comfort eat. The result they get fatter and more depressed. - No escape of the cycle except death. Death in their eyes is the only option. I sometimes used to comfort eat a bit when I was suffering from depression - probably why I went from constantly riding a bike everywhere and doing cross country to being a lazy C*NT. :D But I doubt I could ever end my life. If I did I'd probably use a gun to my head. A simple forced slip of a finger - to pull a trigger and its done. Anything else must be horrible as you'd be hanging in agony regretting it - or sitting in a pool of blood around your wrists thinking 'shit - what have I done, this fucking hurts!' In the end - you just gotta remind yourself, this might be the one and only time your ever on this planet - why end it early. ------ Oh this topic was a joyfull one ----- Paul J [/quote]
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