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[quote][i]Originally posted by CorsAsh[/i] #1 Add a jet engine, flip it at 300mph #2 Grow a ginger beard and learn to roundhouse kick stuff. #3 Fit VTEC. #4 fit civic lights to it regardless of how they fit #5 put all the interior on the exterior, and have an interior like a ferrys exterior #6 fit the 1st set of alloys you can get your hands on regardless of offset #7 Refer to your car as your "ride" regardless to the fact that you don't actually ride a car #8 u2u g@z #9 Make your own in-car driving video and call it "Boys have fun" #10 Join http://www.VAGweb.co.uk #11 Fit a shit exhaust #12 Make wide arches out of expanding foam #13 ring vauxhall to get a working flux capacitor #14 Put your back seats down to reduce weight and improve performance - Whilst fitting a rather heavy sub and amp to your car #15 Fit a Cossie cone, just because they're so damn cool. #16 Stick on random VXR, turbo, GSi, TypeR badges as you see fit #17 Fit a bfo exhaust because it means big 'fuck' off and you like swearing #18 fit a multitude of stickers even if you dont actually own anything from the companies youre promoting #19 Fit a sock to induction system & wonder why the car doesn't work properly #20 Attempt to fit a dump valve to your 1.2 8v, your mate did it he said it was easy #21 Stick a cd to your horn to bling your car up that extra bit. #22 stick tights over your headlights for that genuine tineted look #23 Realise dumpvalves only work on turbo cars, purchase fake electric sound dump valve from ebay #24 video yourself doing 130mph in third gear #25 Gain 10-15% in performance for just £4.50 on ebay #26 If you are asian, put a gold decorative tissue box on your parcel shelf #27 Let a 16 year old girl drive and crash your car cos you want to have sex with her #28 Fit rubstrips #29 Lie about owning a Calibra #30 Cover your boring grey parcel shelf with an England flag #31 Buy a BMW 316 add m3 badges #32 Hang CD from rear view mirror #33 Want to own a CTR #34 ...or a blue Impreza with Gold wheels and a Prodrive jacket #35 Angle seat backwards #36 Use only one hand to steer #37 Fit leather look seat covers from Argos #38 master the art of drifting using 2 mcdonalds tray's #39 Get told daily that 106s are better #40 Debadge car.....only to fit a sticker 100 times as big saying the same thing as the badge did #41 Fit DIY tints as they are P.I.M.P #42 fit a gsi kit and speedlines? :o #43 fit a non-working roof scoop #44 get chinese motif's all over your bonnet when you're quite clearly white #45 Start your own online Corsa community #46 Enquire about possible turbo conversion for 1.2 engines #47 Buy leafblower electric supercharger from eBay #48 Remove two HT leads so your 1.0 sounds like a Subaru #49 be deluded into thinking the GSi is actually quick #50 ...then start smallblockxe.com #51 Fit caliper covers to make it look like you have 4 pots #52 ...and fake rear discs... #53 Fit alloys before lowering #54 Cut springs as lowering kits cost too much #55 Wonder why your suspension fell out... #56 sex wee at the sight of Carbon Fibre #57 criticise martin c for having a crap car when owning a 1997 white corsa merit. #58 Use chicken wire instead of mesh #59 Fit a whale tail #60 Claim to have a 2.0 8v that does 140mph #61 Drink Carling at a cruise #62 Flash your eggy breasts at a cruise #63 Fit a twin upswept DTM in the middle of the back bumper #64 Fit a huge dual exit in the middle of your GSi's rear bumper #65 post pics of your X14XE doing 127mph. #66 advise people not to rev over 2krpm when the engine is cold #67 call GTX Magnatec a marketing gimmick #68 think that octane booster or super unleaded makes a difference on your 1.2 8v #69 put SRi badges on your Corsa C, because you believe it's faster than an SXi #70 make a tongue shaped bonnet #71 inability to spell is a must #72 make a hans solo stuck in metal in your bonnet #73 if you dont have foglights install some then break the switch so they never go off (even in broad daylight) #74 "strip" your car of all needless electrical wiring even though you have no experience of auto electrics #75 wire up your fuel pump relay to the rear foglight switch. #76 …then post thread in HZ asking why your car wont start #77 …or post it in gc saying "i know it shouldnt be in here, but..." #78 sit on roundabouts that are powered by mopeds #79 buy shares in Ripspeed #80 buy ANYTHING in Ripspeed #81 invest in some “Tireflies” #82 state at least once that the all corsa 8v engines are "bulletproof" #83 Campaigne the issue that 1.2 8v SXI's exist #84 spend your saturday flicking through Halfords lexus lights catalogue and admiring the Peco exhausts #85 Take pictures of your new Peco exhaust & lexus lights in pitch black with the flash on #86 read the guide for the paperclip test but understand none of it then still go to vauxhall Yes Steve ;) [/quote]
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