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Author What to expect when you’re expecting?!
RichR
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Registered: 17th Oct 01
Location: Waterhouses, Staffordshire
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   13th Feb 19 at 20:20   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

So, as I can’t tell anyone in real life and as you’re all on the internet, technically, you don’t exist. My wife and I have been for an early scan today because she’s had a few health issues recently and needed to make sure everything was where it should be; anyway, she’s 6weeks and 4 days gone with our first and everything is fine so far despite her having had an MRI scan in that time.

Any words of wisdom for a first timer?

[#CSRevival]
SetH
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14th Feb 19 at 00:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I have failed at life and not had children

Thus I cannot offer you any advice. However I would like to take this opportunity to say Congratulations!

I am sure Crotchfruit owners will be along shortly to give some tips!

[Edited on 14-02-2019 by SetH]
RichR
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14th Feb 19 at 00:44   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Thought it was going to take us months, even years but as it worked out, it was about 2 weeks
DaveyLC
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14th Feb 19 at 08:16   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Get as much sleep as possible, bank that shit!
pow
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Registered: 11th Sep 06
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14th Feb 19 at 08:16   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Congrats - strong swimmers! My wife is a Reception teacher which is enough to put her off for now.

Enjoy it
RichR
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14th Feb 19 at 08:52   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

We were adamant we weren’t going to have kids at all up until about 7/8 months ago. My sister had her first last March and I think that got us both thinking that it was a now or never situation; I’m 35 now so wouldn’t have wanted to wait too much longer.
Ian W
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14th Feb 19 at 22:14   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Had our first 1 week ago today, much like yourselves, always said we weren't bothered but seeing my wife with her nephew made me question it and we decided to go for it, took no time at all as it happens

It's super tiring, everything is harder with a tiny person around but looking at the little cute face and seeing changes and in them everyday makes it so much fun.
SetH
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15th Feb 19 at 12:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

If any of these babies come out brown dont blame me
evilrob
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15th Feb 19 at 12:08   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SetH
If any of these babies come out brown dont blame me

To be fair, you'd be pretty near the top of the list of people to blame in that scenario.
SetH
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15th Feb 19 at 12:16   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Why thank you

What about Pablo though?

We would need to go on Jeremy Kyle to be sure.

I have still have fantasies about breeding shelleh.
3CorsaMeal
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15th Feb 19 at 14:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Be ready for the jollop, its not all just baby, loads of jollop comes out too
SetH
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15th Feb 19 at 16:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

WTAF is 'jollop'
Shelly
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15th Feb 19 at 18:10   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

@ SetH

None here either but congratulations Rich
SetH
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16th Feb 19 at 09:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I still want to know WTF is Jollop 3CM you crazy barstad
noshua
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16th Feb 19 at 11:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Yes work as much as you can so the missis has to do all the night feeds. Baby's are boring as fuck, loads better on e they're older
SetH
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16th Feb 19 at 15:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I am surprised no one has mentioned milky tit wanks???
DC90
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18th Feb 19 at 12:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

If you ever think something is wrong, even slightly, don't hesitate to get the Mrs checked out. I always felt like I was wasting their time when we couldn't feel our son move but.. Better to be safe than sorry.

Don't let everyone tell you you'll get no sleep. Night feeds are tiring but you might have a sprog who sleeps 12 hours a night. My daughter slept 7-7 from 2 months old (other than feeds). She's 5 now.

My son, however, total opposite. Little fucker barely sleeps through and he's 2. You never know what they are going to be like.

Also, we are all blagging it, no shame in that. You don't need to know everything, you learn on the job.

[Edited on 18-02-2019 by DC90]
DaveyLC
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18th Feb 19 at 14:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by DC90

Don't let everyone tell you you'll get no sleep. Night feeds are tiring but you might have a sprog who sleeps 12 hours a night. My daughter slept 7-7 from 2 months old (other than feeds). She's 5 now.



Most people get one that doesnt sleep

Our son didn't sleep properly until 2 1/2 and even now he barely sleeps after 6am
DC90
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19th Feb 19 at 14:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

How do these bastards have the energy to be up for 6 after being up and down all night? My son is bouncing off the walls by 6 after probably getting 3 hours sleep a night. He also doesn't nap in the day?!

Not sure whether I should be oppressed or annoyed.
SetH
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20th Feb 19 at 18:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

We need a new forum

Crotchfruit Day
DC90
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21st Feb 19 at 02:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Milky titty day. Please.
SetH
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21st Feb 19 at 09:26   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by DC90
Milky titty day. Please.


Please tell me you indulged?

3CorsaMeal
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21st Feb 19 at 12:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SetH
I still want to know WTF is Jollop 3CM you crazy barstad


Placenta and general slop
SetH
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21st Feb 19 at 13:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Has anyone ever gone balls deep in a woman who has just given birth and fucked her before the placenta comes out?
3CorsaMeal
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21st Feb 19 at 15:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Yeah, its called "jellyfish attack", sticks to your schlong and you run around the room screaming "get it off"

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